Follow
Share

Each month we are finding errors in my 84 year old dad's checking account. He is leaving Pay to the order of line blank and then can't remember what the check was for. He puts one amount in the box on the check and another amount on the line, thusly shorting the company of the monthly bill. He has been late on bills. I have DPOA but Ameriprise investments won't recognize it without a doctor activating the medical POA, of which I am also his agent. My dad fails every memory test at each doctor appointment, yet the doctor has not yet activated it. My dad refuses to give me control voluntarily. He gets belligerent if I even suggest that I help him. When I confront him with the errors, he says "So I made a boo boo. Big deal" He is on a limited income, yet gives to any charity that asks. He has given me no money, but lied about sending $14,000 to a granddaughter who he hasn't seen in 20 years. How do I get the doctor to activate the medical POA so my dad can't fight me on this? He was diagnosed with dementia two years ago.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
I don't have an answer about the DPOA, but maybe an interim suggestion. You didn't say how bad his dementia is, but I'm wondering if he would notice if some bills stopped arriving?
With our mother, we gradually moved everything to me over a period of a couple of months. I told her the bank needed a new signature card and got her to sign, then I signed it adding me to her checking account. I got new checks made with both our names on them.
We found a copy of each bill and sent a change of mailing address having future bills sent to me so I could pay them out of the account. Mom never noticed the bills had stopped coming to her. At the same time we opened a second checking account (with my sister as co-owner) and put a small amount in it from the first one and took away the other checkbook, telling her that this is a new checkbook cover and checks because the old one was getting worn out.
My sister's mailing address was used so she could balance it. Eventually there were no more bills coming in (which she didn't notice) and Mom was happy with "control" of the checking account for personal items (which were very few and we lied about the balance) She was in IL, and had few expenses, that goodness, so she didn't bounce checks.
Good luck.
That may not work for your father, but it might help get some of the problems taken care of until you can get a doctor to help you.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

How were the DPOA documents written? I ask this because DPOA ( as opposed to POA or MPOA) is usually written to be in effect immediately, regardless of the competence of the person appointing them. If this is the case, then you can make decisions immediately.

Angel
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

You may be able to start the guardianship process if his cognizant skills are really bad. You would need to consult an attorney in this field of law. It's the last resort, not easy but sometimes necessary to protect elders from themselves.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Most likely there is not much you can do. For the DPOA to be activated you probably need letters from two doctors statin dad cannot handle his finances any longer. That no doubt will make dad even more agitated. Your onky choice may be to wait for a medical emergency.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter