I will be 70 in June and my daughter and grandaughter want me to move in with them, which I feel would be a disaster. But, it may come as a last resort. If I do and it comes to a point where I need to be in a NH, will she in any way be financially responsible for my expenses? I really hate the idea of putting this burden on her, but because of my extremely low income it may come to that.
No, Jeanne, I do not have a medical alert device. You are the most level headed person and I really appreciate your help and thoughts!! Daughter runs a title co. in Orlando and is extremely busy. Her weekends are dedicated to her daughter's activities. She goes to Tx. often because her Dad is dieing. I haven't seen them since Christmas and that's mostly my fault. I know it's time to do something before it's too late, since Medicaid looks back 5 yrs.
Thank you all, so much! Just overwhelmed and confused right now. You all have given me a lot to think about.
If you don't have much money you need to apply for Medicaid if you haven't done so yet.You may want to think about appointing one of your family members a POA.
To apply and to be approved for Medicaid requires you to not have much assets.Truth be told many people are like your self in the same shoes.How people with tons of money gets approved for Medcaid is a wonder of it's own.My best advice to you is what ever money you have saved.Pull it all out and hide it!Many hide money is safty deposit boxes or in their own freezer.Many will tell you to start spending your money as spending down to quilfy for Medicaid.Wrong idea!
Hide your money,transfer assets into other's names is how they all do it and get away with it.Do all of this before deciding to move into your daughters home.You can also,create a trust with a attorney with any assets you have.Once all assets are moved.Wait a yr then apply for Medicaid.Many millionairs are on Medicaid doing this same thing and getting food stamps.If ever asked where did your money go?Lottery tickets!lol.Your 70 yrs old it's time to do this before it's too late.
Don't move in to their home if you know it will be unhappy.You have options.
I hope that you can stay where you are, with increased support if you need it. Are there things that would give your daughter peace of mind and yet let you remain independent as long as you can? For example, do you have a medical alert device? Could you agree to call her everyday at a certain time? How about having dinner with them every other weekend -- your place, then theirs? Increased contact, but not living together. 40 miles is too far for casual drop-ins, but it is still feasible for frequent visits.
If you do need to be closer to them at some point, could you sell your come and use the proceeds to find something similar, close to them? Or even a place with more services, like assisted living?
I can fully understand your daughter's concern. And I respect your independence, too. I hope you can work something out that will be good for all of you.
Keep in touch here. We'd like to hear how this works out for you.
I have spent 4-5 days with my grandaughter and 3 dogs, while my daughter was out of town, but that's about it. It was okay, but couldn't wait to get home.
I live in a 55+ community where my home is paid for, including my car. I cannot get on medicaid til my savings are depleted, which won't be too much longer. Pretty independent, just hate to leave the house, except for groceries and Dr.s appts.
Thank you, ba8alou! I am seeing doctors for my physical health and mental health, just not a neurologist, but I am on meds for my mental problems and other meds, too.
Again, thank you both, so much!! Sorry for seeming so self centered. I'm really not.
Your daughter's financial responsibilities toward you will not be affected by whether you live with her or not.
I am curious. Why do your daughter and granddaughter want this to happen, and why to you fear it would be a disaster?
Have you every spent extended periods of time with them? Could you go and visit them for 2 weeks, acting like a household member and not a guest, and get a small feel for what it would be like?
Are you in subsidized housing for seniors? Are you on Medicaid? Do you need some in-home services to stay independent? You may be able to put off the "last resort" for quite a while if you get aid you are eligible for.
I hope that moving in with your daughter works out for you. It is important to keep your money in separate bank accounts, so there won't be any problem if you need to apply for Medicaid. You may want to discuss with her what you can afford to pay toward the household bills each month. That makes everything go more smoothly. You may even want to get the agreement in writing, so that you would have a record of why a certain amount of money was given to your daughter each month.
Much luck to you both during your adjustment time together if you move in with her. :)