I am so tired and frustrated. Mom's mobility is limited and she is getting to the point where she cannot get up from a chair. All she seems to want to do is eat junk food and not do her exercises. It's like pulling teeth to get her to do her exercises. Every time that I ask her to do them she says things like "II don't have the energy today, I'll do them tomorrow" or even better "I already did them" when I know that she didn't.
She lost so much weight so suddenly and now sees her big chicken jowls on her neck, that the whole thing really scared her. She gripes constantly about her physical therapy but is doing it.
Another part is that she DOES NOT WANT a: walker/cane/scooter, which are for "old people" so we remind her that, if she can't get in and out of her chair, she'll eventually have to get something to help her walk.
Also, we reminded her that, if she gets any more sedentary, that we'll have to bathe her. I suspect this also helped her get motivated. She doesn't want anyone helping her to bathe or go to the bathroom.
Unfortunately, everyone has a different motivational issue.
My mother now can move around much better, but she does get tired-out pretty easily. An hour of occupational therapy plus an hour of physical therapy, and she's totally worn-out for the day.
Is there anything your mom would like to do? Shop for a gift for someone? For herself? Anything like that? Sometimes, I know I used to make it too easy to say I'd pick things up for my mom. These days, if she wants it, I make her come with me to shop for it. I'd started doing that, but the physical therapist had also suggested taking her for more and more errands of short duration to build-up her strength.
In my mom's case, we understand some of the underlying causes of her weakness and changes in health and it's important to know these things to know if you're pushing the person too hard or possibly just not enough.
JessieBelle...I think our Moms are very similar as far as the exercise and the junk food. I took her and my son out to eat the other day and all she wanted was a hot fudge sundae. I told her that we need to eat dinner first and them we can get ice cream. She ate half of her dinner.
Irishlass... It is too much for me to worry more about her health than she does in addition to taking her to all of her medical appointments and making sure that someone is always with her. I need a vacation.
cmwrinkl1...I wish I could talk my parents into selling the house and moving into an assisted living facility. I think something like that would be better for them and all of us who take care of her. They could also get my freeloading brother out of the house.
Very good question - why do we work harder on their health than they do? If it is so we aren't left with the burden of caring for them, then get them to an AL facility as fast as possible. Then they can neglect themselves and it won't affect you. If an AL place isn't possible (financially) then decide now what you will be willing to do when they can no longer walk.
I haven't been able to figure out what to do about the junk food. My mother will also sit and nibble large amounts of it. Weight is not her friend, since she has a hard enough time walking already. Getting out of her chair is already difficult. I do want her to be able to enjoy life by having things she likes, but she doesn't know when to stop. She'll eat a can of peanuts or a half bag of chips! She's diabetic, so it's a big no no on the chips. I limit what I buy, and if I see a bag setting at her chair, I'll move it so she can't idly start eating. It works some. I don't want to quit buying junk food, because she has so little she enjoys now. But I don't want her to eat too much of it, so I have to do little things to limit her -- buying only a certain amount and making it inaccessible without effort.
Something that may help her get up from her chair is a walker without wheels. My father had a terrible time getting up on his own. The walker made it much easier for him, since his arms were stronger than his legs. He could push himself up on the walker.