My 86 year old mom was recently diagnosed with dementia following a pretty bad UTI. Her behavior has gotten worse as the weeks have gone by. She has horrible delusions about my dad; he's an impostor and wants to cause her harm. This causes her to act out in truly mean ways. For example: spitting and slapping at him. Before all of this, she was the sweetest lady. I'm at a loss, and really hurting for both my parents, and I just don't know what to do. She also refuses to take food, water or medicine that he offers her. He's her only caregiver at night (sitter during the day). We were hoping that being at home would clear up some of the confusion, but it's just not helping at all. Any advice?
I would begin looking into memory care facilities. Your dad can't go on being treated this way by his wife even if she can't control herself. He shouldn't have to live that way and it sounds like your mom needs more care than your dad can give her.
From what you described it sounds like Alzheimer's.