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The running out of money part is always the key. And when this question is raised by an outsider, it always seems to be, why is the questioner concerned about running out of money? Is it a self-interested question? That's an easy allegation to make against any non-POA family member who wants to blow the whistle on a POA who is taking advantage. The problem is, if the POA does not have the financial wherewithal or willingness to take care of their charge when the money runs out, the dependent person may be out of luck. There are many gaps in our legal system that allow things like this to play out among the many, many people who do not have the will or the way to plan out estate issues ahead of time. One alternative is to petition for guardianship, which is often resisted strongly by the person who should be coming under guardianship. Which is to say, don't be surprised if a challenge to an abusive POA is an uphill battle.
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AlwaysMyDuty hit it on the head saying that parents often pick with their heart instead of their head. My sister has POA and is doing the same sorts of things. We have talked to my mother but she doesn't want to "hurt her feelings" by changing POA from her to one of my brothers. My sister feels that everything that was my mom's is now hers and she lays claim to things without consideration for any of us. I've come to the conclusion that there is nothing I can do; my mom seems to want things as they are even though she gripes to me constantly about my sister. I'm distancing myself from the whole thing and letting it play out. When mom runs out of money my sister will have to take care of her.
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I suggest seeing a lawyer. If your mom has dementia that plays a big part in the final decision. My mom did not have dementia and my lawyer said she could do anything she wanted, it was her money.
In hindsight, there are so many people who selected the wrong person to be their POA. They thought with their heart instead of a logical mind. So many people end up with drained bank accounts, and then become burdens on their families because they have no other place to turn or they can't get benefits. For that reason alone, you should seek legal advice.
In a perfect world, anyone who is POA should keep squeaky clean financial records if for no other reason but to protect themselves if any of the family questions or accuses them. The POA may not be doing anything wrong but if lawyers are brought in, then they'll have to fork over some cash to defend themselves.
Good luck!
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My niece didn't have POA and "borrowed" money from my mother but of course, never paid it back. That was before we knew my mother had Alzheimer's. Now, that my cause her to be ineligible for Medicaid for the nursing home because they assume it is a "gift" and you have to prove it wasn't given away to hide it.
Can you go to her lawyer and tell them what the granddaughter is doing?
It probably wouldn't hurt. They may be able to advise you as to what you can do.
Good luck.
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I wish I knew the answer to that, for the last 7 years my sister has done that to my Mom right after her husband died from pancreatic cancer my Mom has paid all of her bills, rent,elec, gas, cell phone, car insurance, makeup etc. I told my Mom that my sister needs to go to work and pay her own bills, what's she gonna do when my Moms not here she is going to be 90 in September. Besides the fact she raises her voice at my Mom & my 2 handicap sisters. If I figure it out I'll let you know. Gail
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