My mom's birthday was Saturday. My husband and I went to the NH took her presents. My husband commented on the picture of our latest grandchild on her wall. My mom said she looks like Paul who was my dad...then she said isn't that strange since she is not blood related. I said but, mom she is because she is my son's daughter who was his grandson, making her his great-granddaughter. My mom said you know that is not true in real life....I kept bringing up reminders of the relationship between me and my dad, my son etc and she kept saying not in real life. Both of my parents were known for their infidelities while they were married. it was always well known and discussed my whole life. I know her mind is fading, but now I am obsessed with what she meant. Was she telling me my dad wasn't my dad ? My dad died in 1979. My mom's blood type is A mine is O I just always thought I had my dad's. There is no one that can answer my question..my husband just changed the subject and she dropped the conversation. I thought about asking her again. My husband said he just does not matter it is what it is and he was my dad my whole life and that her mind is just gone, but why would she say that ? Good grief I know how silly this sounds but I cannot stop thinking about it..even to the point of looking at pictures of my dad and trying to find my face in his. Both of my parent had the same coloring other than my mom has fair skin and my dad had olive colored skin which I do. Delusions and fading memories can really wreck havoc for those of us listening.. Just needed to get it off my chest.
I'd consider this a delusion. It sounds as if your husband is supportive of you and he handled this well. Try to do the same as he did - just change the subject if this comes up again.
As you can see on this thread of comments, others have heard some pretty bizarre things from their parents as well. Painful as it is, it's best to ignore it and move forward. You truly aren't alone.
Please keep us up on how you are doing.
Carol
Having said that, these people, in their heart, believe these thing wholeheartedly. Does this have anything to do with your parentage? Could she be having delusions? Maybe, maybe not. Your dad is the man who raised you. If you just can't help yourself and you must open that can of worms, be prepared. Please don't give one elderly woman's rantings more weight that they are worth.
My MIL recently told me that nana was smuggled into the US on a train from Canada. I know for a fact that nana arrived from Italy on a boat and landed in Philadelphia.
Do not question your mother further. You will never know if she speaks the truth or even knows the truth. Your daddy loved you above all else that is enough.
Sometimes those with dementia say things that are not true. My cousin says things that I know are not true. She says she was in a movie and in love with a man in the movie last week, but she didn't know if their relationship would work. lol Well, she wasn't in a movie ever. One day she said her medical doctor was sleeping in a bed in her Memory Care Unit. I know he's never been there. So, it's things that aren't true, but they believe it, so I go along with it.
If there is independent cause to search for some other person as your father, you certainly could pursue it, but for some people that opens too many cans of worms.
Do you have half siblings? Do you REALLY want to go for genetic testing with one of them?
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