Dementia. Is it common for personalities to change for the better?

For your sake, I pray that you don't count on him staying kind because if and when he reverts back to the man's he's been in the past, I'm concerned that you will be hurt! Could he be acting this way because he wants something? Is he mentally capable of that? I hope this change is real and he continues to treat you with love! God bless you! ✝️

Debsann: My late sister in law berated her DH (Dear Husband) when she was a well woman. After her Alzheimer's diagnosis, she was suddenly pleasant to him. I am sorry to hear that your father suffers from dementia. Hugs sent.

With mine, it depended on what he wanted. If he wanted dinner I was the best daughter in the world. When he wanted to drive I was the meanest b**** on the planet. His last year he adored me, would only listen to me and always wanted me. So, the changes can be hourly, daily, weekly etc. prayers

With dementia the changes can be gradual or instant, positive or extremely negative. Best to be prepared for the worse and thankful for anything better. Be prepared emotionally to call 911 immediately if his behavior swings back to abusive and, have him transported to an ER where he can be reassessed for his " level of care needs" and,you can confer with staff and social services about placement options for him.

My mother always displayed nasty behaviors her whole life, primarily to me and her immediate family, but never to OTHERS. To others she was all sunshine and rainbows. When she was diagnosed with dementia, nothing changed. She was still nasty and insulting to me and most of the family members, and most of the other residents in her Memory Care AL, but 1000% worse than before she developed dementia. At the very end of her life, I'd say the last few months, she suddenly forgot who she hated and held grudges against, and became a softer, nicer version of her former self. It was sad to see, b/c I wish she could've been that way her WHOLE LIFE, but at least I got to see a decent, loving side of her before she passed. For that I am grateful.

Nobody can say how your dad's temperament will change, or IF it will even. Just enjoy the 'nice dad' while he's around, and pray that it stays that way for the rest of his life, Amen. :)

A neighbor lady who was always somewhat superior and cold in her treatment of us became pleasant and warm after her dementia became obvious.

Take each day as it comes..................nothing is guaranteed. Gratitude will take you far, but a vacation will take you away from a toxic situation should it occur.

My mother was never the easiest person to get along with. She could be charming, but all her life she could also be mean, angry, take offense at anything, and hold a grudge forever. She could not keep friends because she'd always get mad about something trivial and walk away from the friendship, telling them off in grand fashion. She fomented bad feelings between members of the family by spreading untruths and speculations, usually to her advantage.

When she was suffering from dementia, she seemed to forget those coping behaviors, if that's what they were. She was a nice old gray-haired lady. She got along with the caregivers and others. Granted, she didn't know who she was or where she was anymore, but she was nice at last. It was as if her brain was no longer capable of being who she was before. In her case, it was a good thing.

My mom wasn’t abusive but was RELENTLESS in pushing for her needs and wants - and was never satisfied ever - and would put up a happy show for others but complained to me incessantly to total excess for years. It was absolutely exhausting and draining, even setting boundaries, because I had to hold my boundaries again and again and again etc..

Flash forward and a year after a stroke and she had a seizure. On the sad side it affected her physically. On the surprise side it’s like a switch was flipped and now she’s really nice to me! Tells me she loves me most times we talk, says how comfy her bed is, says I’m a great daughter…I mean oh my god this was not expected at all! It’s a flipping miracle .

Some days she does revert back to her old usual ways of mother/daughter dynamic disfunction and that’s :P but FOR NOW, overall, she’s downright pleasant ! I sure wish I could keep this mode open.

There’s no way of controlling these brain switches, so I say hang onto these good moments and let them make good memories before anything changes - out of our hands - again.

Life sure is full of surprises

I am hardly an expert, but I took care of my dad in his final stages of dementia. He had always had a bad temper and my parents divorced when I was young because of it, but for the most part he was kind to me over the years and I wasn’t exposed to that part of his personality a lot. He was in mental decline for almost 10 years before he came to live with me and he did get easily frustrated and angered during that time. I just thought he was being a jerk because he hadn’t really been diagnosed with dementia yet. Long story short, he had a bad accident and ended up having to live with me for the remainder of his life. Toward the end he became very sweet and said the nicest things to me. I had expected him to get worse so I was surprised by that outcome, but it was a nice way to end, and I have happy memories of him now.

Yes the mind can change with a dementia person. My BIL is somewhat easy going but he is getting mean which isn't like him. And he has dementia with no short term memory left.

Debsann, with my own Mom she rarely had a sense of humor until she got into her 80's and I noticed an early age related memory decline. Finally I could buy funny greeting cards for her, and she would laugh.

But on the other side of the coin, she started to be down right rude to anyone who came into the house to help her or my Dad. She would make snide remarks or glare at them. Before that she was always Emily Post type of person.

if you're lucky that the "nice dad" lasts...greattttttt.

as you know very well, no one can guess the future about your dad:
"nice dad" can stay, or mean dad can come back.

normally, mean people who are suddenly "nice", are quite calculating. they want something from you. (even people with dementia can be calculating).

I agree with Geaton777, dementia can change quite a bit, even from day to day. The first lesson I learned about dementia is that you can't count on it.

As my MIL's vascular dementia advanced, her personality became much more pleasant than it had been her entire life. She even began introducing herself using her first name, all of her life she had been called by her middle name.

Try not to spend energy worrying about something that may or may not ever happen. One person's experience may not be yours. With dementia, best to take it one day at a time.