I mean he does it in his pants 99% of the time now... and then leaves it sitting in the floor or bathroom or smeared all over and then hollers at me from the other room. "there's poop in the (insert area here)". So I started making him clean it with me. I know it tires him out but it tires me out too and its 2 and 3 times a day NEVER in the toilet. So does it make sense he's just F@#%ing with me, his way of establishing some sort of payback or control? Is this a dementia thing or an attention thing or what? Or perhaps I'm over reacting? I don't think I am but its getting OLD fast.
I think this is definitely a dementia thing. Even if it is somehow to mess with you, that is not what a normal mind comes up with to mess with a daughter.
How long has it been since he has been to the doctor who is treating the dementia? I think it is time for a visit. Provide the doctor ahead of time a list of your concerns.
It may also be time for a change in living arrangements.