Dementia patient refuses to eat. What should we do?

Flaneuse
So sorry for the loss of your grandma.

I’m sorry for your loss. Our hospice gave us an interesting book about death. It’s a process that can take a few years to be completed . Signs along the way include sleeping a lot and eating less and less since their bodies are no longer needing food. Eventually with dementia they may ” forget” how to swallow. Forcing them to eat can make them choke. This happened to my mother, she couldn’t swallow even liquids her last few days . I really wish these things were more widely known since it would ease the burden both for the dying person and their family.

Thanks everyone for their help. We lost her yesterday. May her soul rest in peace🙏

Sometimes swallowing is the issue. Do you have access to any kind of shakes or protein drinks? Will she drink anything? I'm in the US and there is a drink my Mom would drink all the time, Ensure. They make shakes as well as drinks like iced tea or fruit drinks. Sometimes this is the only way to get nutrition into someone who refuses to eat.

As we age, our taste buds weaken and the last to go are the "sweet" taste buds which is often why older people will not want any regular food but still want sweets, candy, etc. Will she eat anything like that?

If none of that is working, and I hate to say this, stopping eating is sometimes one of the first steps in an older person's "transitioning" time before they pass away. This could last months, it doesn't mean it's imminent but it is not uncommon for them to stop eating. Does she seem ill in any other way?

In any case, I hope you take care of yourself and stay healthy, too!

If your grandmother is refusing to eat, do not force her or make her feel bad by not eating.

It's possible she is choosing to not eat or drink to come to her end. Ask her. Talk with her if that's what she's choosing. Perhaps she's just had enough of this lifetime and it's the last thing she can control.

If she's choosing to stop, be kind and brave and support her decision. Notify her doctor. Keep her comfortable. [edited: I included a note about accepting hospice, but just saw your note below hospice is not available in your country.].

flaneuse, as we age we tend to lose our sense of taste. I remember my Mom's grocery list had ice cream, pies, brownies, anything Little Debbie made, etc. My Mom always has had issues with her teeth, but it wouldn't stop her from having her sweets :)

Let's say for example Grandma still enjoys ice cream. If she wants it for breakfast, ask her if she wants one scoop or two.

Never force someone to eat -- never.

Call her doctor and get her seen by a speech pathologist. That can happen in the hospital, too, so if she needs to go to the ER, that's an option.

Like BarbBrooklyn said she may now be having trouble swallowing, and should be checked for that. It may also may mean that she is nearing the end of her life, as that is part of the dying process and very normal. As the body starts to shut down, it no longer needs food or drink and can actually be very painful for the person if either is forced on them.
It may be time to get hospice involved and see what they think. They will be better able to guide you through the dying process.
Best wishes.

Has her ability to swallow been looked at by a speech/language pathologist?

Almost all dementia patients lose the ability to swallow at some point and need foods pureed and fluids thickened.

The speech person can tell you what grandma needs