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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Depending on the type of dementia your talking about...I know mom had Lewy body dementia. She had what they call night surges. Because parts of the brain are dying..the others surge with energy. Its a really frustrating process, I know. My mother at 91 had them. We would be up about 10 to 12 times a night. It will take you close to the edge. I almost lost it when mom was doing the night walks I would call them. The horrible part about the disease is that seems to rob the spirit of a person and leave you with their shell, an imposter who isn't quite who they seem to be. "You're losing someone while they're still there," Your grieving even though they are still with you. I'm sorry, I hope thats not whats happening to you...but if it is..I implore you to study the disease, the more you know about it and how to work through it..the more prepared you will be. My mom passed away last week. It was the most horrific thing to watch..but like I said I grieved for my mom before..she wasn't the same. I do have the memories of my sweet mom now..to keep in my heart. Good luck and God Bless you.
I know where you are...I was there not long ago. I almost gave up on mom. I was exhausted, no sleep, up and down all night long. At my wits end. I couldn't even fathom how at the age of 91 she could keep going. My little energizer bunny. She had 2 arthritic knees, macular degeneration, and the dementia was taking her from me. She was the body of my mother..only an imposter. Someone I did not recognize anymore. Sundowning, the exaggeration stories, the falls, the outbursts and the brutal words that pierced my soul. I missed that sweet soul of a person who would never do or say the things this imposter would say. I thought of how I would spend the money she had in her bank account paying privately for nursing home then applying for medicaid for her. But after much thought and prayers... I knew I couldn't do that. The mom I knew would never be this way...it was the disease. So I learned to separate the anguish and hurt and do what I could to show much love and care to her. As much as I could. She started to feel comforted by me. As much as I resented her at times...I would make it a point to give her a kiss every night and tell her I loved her. I understand how hard it is...do what you have to do for you. If you can't keep it up...you know that you gave it your all. There comes a time when you need to start thinking of yourself. I will pray for you all...My dear mom took her last breath on Jan 9th. I love and miss her so...but she is finally at peace. God Bless you all.
I lived alone (except for my faithful dog) until I brought my mother to live with me. Made her a little suite with a bedroom, living room and bathroom with a private door to it. She sleeps most of the day, rising between 2 and 5. (which may be a blessing because I work during the day, so she is alone. I lock the dog in the basement, so she is there when I get home) From then on she is up and down the stairlift 20-40 times a day. Constantly getting food, eating a tiny bit, throwing it away and getting new food. Often up all night again going up and down the stairlift and making noise, banging on my locked bedroom door asking "Are you in there sleeping?" Talks to herself a lot. Sometime after particularly grueling nights I just get so agitated because I can't get a night's sleep. I know she doesn't know what's going on, and I shouldn't get mad, but she just drives me nuts, sometimes. So I feel like I'm not doing a good job because I get irritated. She never knows what day, week, date, month, or year it is. But EVERY day, she says she is going back to Hawaii tomorrow at 2. I know time is an issue with dementia. It's hard to understand what that really means to them. She absolutely REFUSES to go to her doctors appointments I make well in advance. Perhaps I should tell her we're going to the airport. Sadly, it seems like telling lies seems to be one of the few ways to help her. Overall, I guess for me, it just seems like I'm not the best person for caring for her. I never had children, so I'm guessing this is like that. But there really is no one else to do it. So you do what you have to do.
Yes Leisa1 delusions haunt them especially at night. Do you have your mom on any types of medication? Because when I was trying to get sleep at night they put mom on trazedone and ambiem but those didn't work for mom she was still trying to get up only like she was drunk. Its the worst disease I have ever experienced. My mom was never ever like the person she became with dementia. But I learned to except her behavior knowing it was the dementia. Sometime disconnecting and making your relationship more of a caregiver is better for you emotionally. Because like I said the dementia changes their whole personality and mental being. And being prepared for whats to come is beneficial to you. Mom stopped eating and drinking on New Years day, because her brain just shut down. She could not swallow with out gagging. She could hardly speak any audible words. My sisters and I stayed at her bedside for 3 days watching her waste away, the most horrible experience. But I'm glad I didn't give up on her and she is a much better place now at peace. God Bless you for doing this for your mom.
Yes scizzors sound all too familiar. Mom was not the same after she moved in to my home with me also. The dementia that you are discribing is one of the hardest types of dementia to diagnose. It sometimes gets misdiagnosed because the only way they can diagnose it is through autopsy. But I did my own research and decided to try taking mom off of all medications because with Lewy body dementia it will give adverse reactions to ambiem, halyperidol, and trazadone. The only medication that helped mom was the lorazepam. So at night I would give her only .5 mg of lorazepam and an over the counter advil pm. That worked the best. The trazadone will cause dreams I know this because my husband takes it. But with a 91 year old woman it was frightening. The delusions were what kept her up because I had a monitor on in her room with a camera and I would sit and watch her swing, kick and sometimes talk to them. It does rob them of their natural self, making them someone unrecognizable. So sad. But study and accepted who they are and try and work around it. It was easier not to argue about things with mom it made her more agitated. I would only agree or say I don't know? Sometimes even lying a little will ease their mind. I'm sorry..I know exactly how you feel..it was only a month ago I was dealing with the same. God Bless you.
Leisa1 The only diagnoses for the LBD came from me. I know the doctors cannot clinically diagnose it without a brain autopsy, but after studying all about Lewy Body and knowing mom's symptoms I came to that conclusion. Mom was a totally different personality. She changed from a sweet, caring, meek person to someone very much opposite. I love my mom so very much and after finally figuring out what was going on...I was able to separate my own frustration over the disease and truly care for her. As difficult as it was, she had no control over what was happening to her...so I learned to adjust and move on. Goodluck with you and your mom. God bless.
I kept a journal...it was like my sanity check. I would write in my journal when ever mom would display some odd behavior. I wanted to have things down on paper so I could reflect on her progression. My siblings loved it..because now I can read inserts of my journal that gives them a little perspective on what dementia was doing to our sweet mom. One week in October when mom was "showtiming" because my older sister was visiting, she started getting mad and I, of course, was the punching bag. She looks straight at me and says..."And don't write that down!" Then all three of us started to laugh. I am so glad I kept my journal. I started it on my birthday Oct 15. October is when mom's dementia took a big turn downhill. So I guess you could say...my book has been written. :)
People who have dementia are mentally ill. They are dangerous to themselves and others in a myriad of ways that you can’t even imagine. I’ve been a caregiver to my elderly demented mother for awhile and it’s like living in hell
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I thought of how I would spend the money she had in her bank account paying privately for nursing home then applying for medicaid for her. But after much thought and prayers... I knew I couldn't do that. The mom I knew would never be this way...it was the disease. So I learned to separate the anguish and hurt and do what I could to show much love and care to her. As much as I could. She started to feel comforted by me. As much as I resented her at times...I would make it a point to give her a kiss every night and tell her I loved her.
I understand how hard it is...do what you have to do for you. If you can't keep it up...you know that you gave it your all. There comes a time when you need to start thinking of yourself. I will pray for you all...My dear mom took her last breath on Jan 9th. I love and miss her so...but she is finally at peace. God Bless you all.
I know time is an issue with dementia. It's hard to understand what that really means to them. She absolutely REFUSES to go to her doctors appointments I make well in advance. Perhaps I should tell her we're going to the airport. Sadly, it seems like telling lies seems to be one of the few ways to help her.
Overall, I guess for me, it just seems like I'm not the best person for caring for her. I never had children, so I'm guessing this is like that. But there really is no one else to do it. So you do what you have to do.
Gosh your mom shouldn't be left alone with her Dementia she might fall and get seriously hurt.
One week in October when mom was "showtiming" because my older sister was visiting, she started getting mad and I, of course, was the punching bag. She looks straight at me and says..."And don't write that down!" Then all three of us started to laugh.
I am so glad I kept my journal. I started it on my birthday Oct 15. October is when mom's dementia took a big turn downhill. So I guess you could say...my book has been written. :)
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