I’m long distance from folks who are in assisted living. Both have dementia, mom is really going downhill mentally and physical.
Staff took her to dentist today as she was complaining about a jagged tooth. Dentist said all her teeth but two need pulled, decay, broken etc. They will send her to oral surgeon for consult then surgery at a later date if I as POA authorize it. Then would need dentures fitted etc. Good Lord......
I talked to dental assistant and nurse at AL. Dangers are abscesses, infections etc. can’t do root canals if she would get an abscess cuz not enough of the teeth left.
At this time there are no abscesses or infections.
I didn’t see this coming. Mom’s quality of life is about .1%. I can’t imagine putting her through the horrors of all these procedures. But if I don’t, will she die of some horrible infection? Im an evil neglectful son? I’m wondering how long she has left. Should I let nature take its course or do this crazy intervention?
AL nurse, good guy who I trust, suggested going through with the consult with oral surgeon and holding him/her to absolute minimum necessary. But even that would be so traumatic for her.
Sorry this is so long, but kinda freaked out here......
I think, as you get closer to the end, there are just an array of bad choices. Our job is to pick the least bad ones.
(Mom was in her 90's at the time and although her mind was sound she was already physically in failing health, I was terrified at having her put under and so grateful to find a dentist experienced in working with frail elders)
Talked to her old dentist yesterday. I though he’d retired but he’s still going. He agreed with me.....Said it was insane to put her through 10 extractions and she would never be able to deal with dentures. We are arranging for her to go see him. He will fix the jagged tooth and keep her going like he’s done in the past. I should have called him from jump street but thought it would be easier on mom to go to the clinic near the AL.
Keep in mind this poor lady will be lucid one moment then look at me and say WHERE DID WINDY GO? She just scored 6 out of 30 on the SLUMS test. That’s pretty serious dementia. Gonna cut out 10 teeth on this lady? No F........ Way......
Twice, when they were in a very noticeable spot (next to the front), her wonderful dentist made her a fake tooth that he built up in 90 minutes. My mom had dementia and forgot about seeing him two days later. But she liked looking good and having a big gap in the front would have really embarrassed her.
She finally said "NO MORE DENTISTS". I also worried about infections and pain. But mom didn't suffer. She died at 97.5 and went out pretty well. If it was me, I'd do the least amount possible to ease her suffering and pain and just keep an eye on it. I don't think that most medical professionals understand the ramifications of what they're recommending for the super-elderly. Having ten teeth pulled with dementia is a big undertaking. I'd try not to do it, or do it over a very long period of time, with very small treatments each time to see how they go. {{{Hugs}}} None of this is easy!
Mom still has her front teeth, upper and lower. Dentist says these gotta go too. I cannot even imagine her shock at waking up with no teeth. She may have advancing dementia but she still has some vanity. I think she’d rather be dead. She has a DNR that is very clear....I DONT WANT NO NOTHING NO WAY NO HOW!
Leaving the rotten teeth in her head will likely lead to infection/abscess sooner or later. They are pretty traumatic too. I like what the AL nurse said. Go with the minimum necessary. I think she is in for trauma one way of another, eventually, Maybe better to get it out of the way so she doesn't have further problems in that area as she declines. Tough decisions.
Dentists opinions vary greatly based on what I have observed. Maybe, her old dentist will understand the situation.
I wanted to avoid dentures at all cost. It's just not feasible for people with severe dementia, but, I have been told that they can eat pretty well, even if they have few teeth. As long as it's soft food.
The AL is arranging to take mom to her old dentist. I talked to him yesterday. He’s going to grind off the rough edges. Done......
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