The OP is the one who's turned down oxygen for her mom and is feeling a bit guilty, she just publicly messaged me:
My Mother is 96 in a Memory Care facility. Put under Hospice care 1/16/22. Not eating and 95 lbs. Hospice asked if I wanted her put on oxygen. I decided not to because she doesnt seem to be in distress. And she would probaly just pull the oxygen off. Feeling a bit guilty.
My response:
Nothing to feel guilty about.....oxygen won't do a thing to extend mom's life which you don't want to happen at this point anyway, not at 96, 95 lbs with advanced dementia. My mother died in Feb in Memory Care with hospice, too, and I prayed for God to end her misery and take her Home, finally. It's hard to watch this process....we feel like we should fix it, but we can't. Just let hospice keep her comfy and know that this end of life process is not painful for her. It's painful for US to watch and listen to, but mom is half here and half in heaven already. Have faith that it's just her body that's shutting down now. Her soul is eternal and will be free and at perfect peace soon after ALL this suffering she's experienced on earth. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.
OP posted this on 1/7/23: I know it is "end of life" Hospice is taking good care of her. I just don't know how long this might last. It has been 3 weeks.
So I don't think it's accurate mom has been on hospice "since 1/16/22"....more like 12/16/22
That’s exactly what my brother did. He kept pulling off his oxygen.
I asked his nurse what should be done. His nurse told me, “I am not going to force him to leave it on.”
I went along with what the nurse felt was best.
I agree that the OP should not feel guilty in the least. They are dying and I am confident that my brother was completely comfortable as he was without having any oxygen.
My mother never pulled at her oxygen. I think the nurses take their cues from the patient.
I like what my mom’s hospice nurse told me near the end. She said, “Your mom has already left this earth. Her body is now working to catch up with her.”
Hospice doesn’t deny oxygen to anyone. My mom received oxygen until she died.
My brother was bothered when he was using the oxygen and his compassionate nurse didn’t force it on him. He was dying. The oxygen was not going to help prolong his life.
Both my mother and my brother were kept comfortable until their last breath while receiving hospice care.
Not a commercial, just a fact about their experiences. We were fortunate to receive good care from hospice.
One thing that I learned from others though, is to carefully research all hospice organizations, then decide which one is the best fit for your particular circumstances.
Both of my parents were given oxygen under hospice care right up until the active dying process began and oxygen served no useful purpose anymore (24 hrs or less prior to death). I had to agree to have the oxygen turned off, which I did. Nothing stops a person from dying when God is ready for them to, not even oxygen.
Request oxygen if thats what you want.
Fire hospice if you disagree with how they're providing comfort care for your loved one. Transport them back to the hospital for medical intervention if you feel that's a better alternative.
Did you have a question?
Heres a link to a forum chat for hospice patients and their families exclusively: https://www.smartpatients.com/communities/hospice
At this point. oxygen isn’t of any use to them. So, when my brother pulled his oxygen out, his nurse saw no reason to place it back
My Mother is 96 in a Memory Care facility. Put under Hospice care 1/16/22. Not eating and 95 lbs. Hospice asked if I wanted her put on oxygen. I decided not to because she doesnt seem to be in distress. And she would probaly just pull the oxygen off. Feeling a bit guilty.
My response:
Nothing to feel guilty about.....oxygen won't do a thing to extend mom's life which you don't want to happen at this point anyway, not at 96, 95 lbs with advanced dementia. My mother died in Feb in Memory Care with hospice, too, and I prayed for God to end her misery and take her Home, finally. It's hard to watch this process....we feel like we should fix it, but we can't. Just let hospice keep her comfy and know that this end of life process is not painful for her. It's painful for US to watch and listen to, but mom is half here and half in heaven already. Have faith that it's just her body that's shutting down now. Her soul is eternal and will be free and at perfect peace soon after ALL this suffering she's experienced on earth. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.
OP posted this on 1/7/23: I know it is "end of life" Hospice is taking good care of her. I just don't know how long this might last. It has been 3 weeks.
So I don't think it's accurate mom has been on hospice "since 1/16/22"....more like 12/16/22
I asked his nurse what should be done. His nurse told me, “I am not going to force him to leave it on.”
I went along with what the nurse felt was best.
I agree that the OP should not feel guilty in the least. They are dying and I am confident that my brother was completely comfortable as he was without having any oxygen.
My mother never pulled at her oxygen. I think the nurses take their cues from the patient.
I like what my mom’s hospice nurse told me near the end. She said, “Your mom has already left this earth. Her body is now working to catch up with her.”
My brother was bothered when he was using the oxygen and his compassionate nurse didn’t force it on him. He was dying. The oxygen was not going to help prolong his life.
Both my mother and my brother were kept comfortable until their last breath while receiving hospice care.
Not a commercial, just a fact about their experiences. We were fortunate to receive good care from hospice.
One thing that I learned from others though, is to carefully research all hospice organizations, then decide which one is the best fit for your particular circumstances.
Request oxygen if thats what you want.
Fire hospice if you disagree with how they're providing comfort care for your loved one. Transport them back to the hospital for medical intervention if you feel that's a better alternative.
Did you have a question?
Heres a link to a forum chat for hospice patients and their families exclusively:
https://www.smartpatients.com/communities/hospice
Good luck.