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The OP is the one who's turned down oxygen for her mom and is feeling a bit guilty, she just publicly messaged me:
My Mother is 96 in a Memory Care facility. Put under Hospice care 1/16/22. Not eating and 95 lbs. Hospice asked if I wanted her put on oxygen. I decided not to because she doesnt seem to be in distress. And she would probaly just pull the oxygen off. Feeling a bit guilty.
My response:
Nothing to feel guilty about.....oxygen won't do a thing to extend mom's life which you don't want to happen at this point anyway, not at 96, 95 lbs with advanced dementia. My mother died in Feb in Memory Care with hospice, too, and I prayed for God to end her misery and take her Home, finally. It's hard to watch this process....we feel like we should fix it, but we can't. Just let hospice keep her comfy and know that this end of life process is not painful for her. It's painful for US to watch and listen to, but mom is half here and half in heaven already. Have faith that it's just her body that's shutting down now. Her soul is eternal and will be free and at perfect peace soon after ALL this suffering she's experienced on earth. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.
OP posted this on 1/7/23: I know it is "end of life" Hospice is taking good care of her. I just don't know how long this might last. It has been 3 weeks.
So I don't think it's accurate mom has been on hospice "since 1/16/22"....more like 12/16/22
That’s exactly what my brother did. He kept pulling off his oxygen.
I asked his nurse what should be done. His nurse told me, “I am not going to force him to leave it on.”
I went along with what the nurse felt was best.
I agree that the OP should not feel guilty in the least. They are dying and I am confident that my brother was completely comfortable as he was without having any oxygen.
My mother never pulled at her oxygen. I think the nurses take their cues from the patient.
I like what my mom’s hospice nurse told me near the end. She said, “Your mom has already left this earth. Her body is now working to catch up with her.”
Hospice doesn’t deny oxygen to anyone. My mom received oxygen until she died.
My brother was bothered when he was using the oxygen and his compassionate nurse didn’t force it on him. He was dying. The oxygen was not going to help prolong his life.
Both my mother and my brother were kept comfortable until their last breath while receiving hospice care.
Not a commercial, just a fact about their experiences. We were fortunate to receive good care from hospice.
One thing that I learned from others though, is to carefully research all hospice organizations, then decide which one is the best fit for your particular circumstances.
Both of my parents were given oxygen under hospice care right up until the active dying process began and oxygen served no useful purpose anymore (24 hrs or less prior to death). I had to agree to have the oxygen turned off, which I did. Nothing stops a person from dying when God is ready for them to, not even oxygen.
Request oxygen if thats what you want.
Fire hospice if you disagree with how they're providing comfort care for your loved one. Transport them back to the hospital for medical intervention if you feel that's a better alternative.
Did you have a question?
Heres a link to a forum chat for hospice patients and their families exclusively: https://www.smartpatients.com/communities/hospice
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
At this point. oxygen isn’t of any use to them. So, when my brother pulled his oxygen out, his nurse saw no reason to place it back
My Mother is 96 in a Memory Care facility. Put under Hospice care 1/16/22. Not eating and 95 lbs. Hospice asked if I wanted her put on oxygen. I decided not to because she doesnt seem to be in distress. And she would probaly just pull the oxygen off. Feeling a bit guilty.
My response:
Nothing to feel guilty about.....oxygen won't do a thing to extend mom's life which you don't want to happen at this point anyway, not at 96, 95 lbs with advanced dementia. My mother died in Feb in Memory Care with hospice, too, and I prayed for God to end her misery and take her Home, finally. It's hard to watch this process....we feel like we should fix it, but we can't. Just let hospice keep her comfy and know that this end of life process is not painful for her. It's painful for US to watch and listen to, but mom is half here and half in heaven already. Have faith that it's just her body that's shutting down now. Her soul is eternal and will be free and at perfect peace soon after ALL this suffering she's experienced on earth. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.
OP posted this on 1/7/23: I know it is "end of life" Hospice is taking good care of her. I just don't know how long this might last. It has been 3 weeks.
So I don't think it's accurate mom has been on hospice "since 1/16/22"....more like 12/16/22
I asked his nurse what should be done. His nurse told me, “I am not going to force him to leave it on.”
I went along with what the nurse felt was best.
I agree that the OP should not feel guilty in the least. They are dying and I am confident that my brother was completely comfortable as he was without having any oxygen.
My mother never pulled at her oxygen. I think the nurses take their cues from the patient.
I like what my mom’s hospice nurse told me near the end. She said, “Your mom has already left this earth. Her body is now working to catch up with her.”
My brother was bothered when he was using the oxygen and his compassionate nurse didn’t force it on him. He was dying. The oxygen was not going to help prolong his life.
Both my mother and my brother were kept comfortable until their last breath while receiving hospice care.
Not a commercial, just a fact about their experiences. We were fortunate to receive good care from hospice.
One thing that I learned from others though, is to carefully research all hospice organizations, then decide which one is the best fit for your particular circumstances.
Request oxygen if thats what you want.
Fire hospice if you disagree with how they're providing comfort care for your loved one. Transport them back to the hospital for medical intervention if you feel that's a better alternative.
Did you have a question?
Heres a link to a forum chat for hospice patients and their families exclusively:
https://www.smartpatients.com/communities/hospice
Good luck.