Does anyone else deal with depression from being a primary caregiver?

no one gives (or sells me) drugs which is why I developed the wine patch gees i need your dr.

I can see where having PSTD from a violent marriage might make taking care of an aging parent extra difficult because some things just might act like a trigger.

My wife and I both have a church version of PSTD from 20 years of working with some very sick situations from the inside (not all of them Priase God) where most who attend don't even know as well as two places that threatened my life and were exceedingly abusing to my wife which was just like her family of origin that sent her as well as our whole family on quite of trip of her going in and out of hospitals over and over again. Now, we go, but don't get involved beyond attending and if we pick up on something going on that triggers our PSTD and we stay away from church for a while. I could go onto describe how this has impacted our boys, but I'll hold on that one.

Well I have carried it with me for 20 plus years. Have been to lots of doctors (couldn't afford the better ones) and therapists. Mostly come to the conclusion I have ptsd from bad violant marriage-constant "flight or fight" became the norm for me even after divorce, with two babies evolved. fought it thru am working on my brain to change the "neural pathways I have come to rely on", now have anxiety or just can't turn off the adrenaline. long story..right now i control it by having a job where I am faced to count on myself. Maybe I am feeding the dragon, I haven't figured that out. Really not depressed. just getting older and my body won't keep up with my mind and I need some sleep! I just the blues, but don't think I am really depressed! I don't dwell much on the past either..

KarenBeth,

Lithium is the standard old drug that is still used for people with bipolar disorder I, the manic kind.

I've never heard of a doctor tell someone they are too young for depression. That's a hoot! I'd like to see his credentials and how much continuing education has he done or is he going by his yellow faded notes from med school.

There are people in their 20ties with clinical depression. There are people including some teens who are in situational depression. I think that unless you have something like I do, bipolar II the depressive kind, then your depression is more situational. My situational depression makes my bi-polar II worse. I'm changing my psychiatirst because the other one that I have had since the fall of 2002 was no longer helping me.

May I suggest that you ask around for a psychiatrist with a good reputation for they are the ones who are trained to really give the meds. Also, as I tell about everyone here, please make getting a therapist part of your self-care program.

PirateGal, thats all I need to get some relief also, but doc's here think I am "too young" and think "depression" causes my anxiety..i don't get it. last time i asked for a few valium to help me sleep at least 1 nite a week, they wanted me to try lithium instead! sigh....all it takes a small amount and i can sleep like a baby, but come right alive when the phone rings.or there is a small noise....boss lady gets 60 xanax and 240 tramadols every month!!! go figure

well, that is the brilliance of the wine patch, first of all no one can see it. It causes no embarrising bumps in your outfit. Oh God she is up gotta go!

Well I know I had to move from "bottles" of wine to the boxes of wine you put in your fridge with that little tap in the side..drinking wine!!!! and I feel like I "whine" plenty too!! sorry!

ive never heard of a wine patch , ya mean u put a patch on and get a buzz from it instead of drinkin real wine ?? ifthats the case then i would like a wine patch since i dont care toomuch for drinkin wine . cant stand the taste of it , im more of a margaritta or beer ..yummie

it's wine, we will call it the Pinot Patch.

box o depends or wine...or whine?

okay I am losing it..

Can i get a box of them as large as the box I already buy of wet wine?

God I hope so.

LOL thats a kneeslapper anne.......does it include a cute cabana boy?

Wellllll now that you ask! A wine patch would attach just below your neck and provide tollerance and old college memories. You would not have to recycle any bottles in the morning and you would remember your mother before she started calling you names. Also the wine patch comes with a calling card so you are able to contact anyone when ever you feel like it. Have I said too much?

Yeah I don't want to be all junked up with depressents and running all over town to meetings..(like when can I do that if I am going to run all over town it will be over to mommo's for something).....I just say BE BRAVE KEEP GOING...ONE DAY IT WILL BE OVER...I just keep reminding myself of that over and over and over...to sleep sometimes I take a little Ativan/Lorazapam does not take much...and they are gentle....(nabbed from daddies med's after he passed away)

Sometimes I go to the doctor for help with insomnia and anxiety, they also think I need "anti depressents" I can't handle them at ALL! Makes me want to scratch my eyes out and gives me a reality that is soooo unfamiliar..I can relate. I just trust in God too. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice that says "try again tomorrow"...try try try and try it again..

i am very sorry about you condition of depression. i do understand what you're going through. i have been taking care of my mother with no help from family since 2005. i was placed on medication for depression, but i refuse to take it. i just put my trust in God and try to live day by day. just like you i can't seem to find myself sometimes in it all but prayer keeps me strong i guess. take care of yourself girl and remember that God is able to make changes in all of our lives.

mizunderstood,

While it might sound contrary to almost everything sometimes people find the spring makes their depression feel even worse as everything else is looking so new, beautiful and fresh. I would suggest that you and your husband just be aware of this.

I don't know what a wine patch is but I can tell you what a "JOHNNY WALKER RED" patch is :)

hardebeck...glad you are confirming my suspicions...I love your idea! Last night I handed her the phone to call 911 and that's where it stopped....like I said she did not want the fullblown ambulance coming and everything. Today when I talked to her she did not mention anything about swelling, or constipation or her side hurting. When I talked to her caregiver today she mentioned something about my mom's side aching, but I think she thinks its suspicious as well. I told my mom, if she's feeling so bad she can have the caregiver take her to emergency, she did not like that option either. What she wanted was to drag only me into the scenario. When I asked what is the difference between me and the caregiver her wild excuse was this..okay ready....okay get this...she said that if the caregiver was to take her to emergency..then that caregiver will not come back to take care of her...say what...I told her the caregiver is paid to do a service and right now that service is to you...she's not going to change just cause you went to emergency...all those twisted paranoia crapolla things I have had to contend with all my life with her.

I already suffer from depression along with other mental illnesses but being the full-time care giver of my mother only increases the moods. I have been taking care of my mother for the past 10 years and within the last 4 years has she become dependent on me. I do her physical therapy she needs, take her to her doctors appt etc.....My brother lives only 1.5 hours away and never has he offered to come and give me a break. I feel for you and know how it is to not be able to get a break. since my mothers health has been getting worse my brother has maybe been down here 3-4 times in the last 6 yrs to see our mom. Sometimes for the depression there is something to help ease some of the guilt and low feelings you are experiencing. I will pray for you and your mother and know that everything happens for a reason and your mother really does appreciate what you are doing even if sometimes she may or may not express it. God Bless!!

What is a wine patch Shelleyanne? Is that like the box of wine I have in my fridge for the scant occasions that I can actually drink???

yes pirate,, dementia do those things . for a while my dad would cry ohh my wrist hurts so i give him pain pills , then one day he forgot all about his wrist and ask me why he was takin those pain pills for >>? i told him cuz ur wrist hurts , oh lord behold he started screamin ohhhh my wrist ohhh ithurts so bad . i was shocked ! of course i ha dto give him his painpill or otherwise i be hearing him cry till i give him his meds .
last year it was his back then over the summer its his wrist now its his whole body . sometimes he acts like he s dying .
nothing better to do but put on a show i guess ...
next time just act like ure callin the dr and then hang up the ph and tell her dr said to take ur whatever . she;ll be satisfied since u called the dr . wink .

Geez I feel wore down today...had to get on the merry go round of mommy dearest yesterday eve....back to the constipation whining....when I got over there after work she was ready to go to the hospital for made up symptoms. I knew there was nothing wrong cause she's led me down those symptoms path before right to emergency and 6 1/2 hours later a 50 buck enema and x-rays and ekg and nothing. So I had to go around and around with a mentally exaustive verbal round and round....no mention of pain this morning...gee I wonder why. Do these Alz/Dem folks dream up stuff like this all the time. I asked her how many more months she thinks she can drag me around this maypole of constipation delima? She thinks she can just go to the hospital and miracously the doc's at the hospital are going to make her constipation go away. I told her...the doc already told you what to do drink your Miralax and your Metamucil everyday. Eat your prunes, make some excercise yadda yadda yadda....how much more can I take it on the Roller Coaster of Constipation?

<----- going coo coo

have we talked about developing a "wine patch"?

oh my i think i need to take a nap . my whole body just aches , goodnite u all ....

I hate how this stuff eats at us from the inside! How helpless we really are!

man pa is leanin more and more while ago he was almost layin on the table to eat his supper . he does that once in a while . often wonder why he does that . i ha dto put him in bed , told him that my back is hurtin and im afraid i wont beable to get him out of his recliner . so off to bed he went . hope tmr he will be able to sit up straight .
sad sad , now im drinkin my beer to calm me down and maybe take away the achin feelin in my back .
hope tmr be a better day ....

OMG you all make me smile, and that feels so good!

I've had too many sleepless nights and sleepy days lately.