My father was already getting close but once we enrolled on hospice, I felt that the hospice rushed my dad’s death. Dad had a fever after being alert and eating the day before. The hospice nurse was unwilling to explore the possibility of any infections. Dad continued to get worse. We insisted on getting him hydration which arrived almost a day later and meanwhile he got less responsive. Then his seizures started and he was unable to recover from them. I feel like hospice deliberately delayed and denied getting him help to hasten his death. I am wondering if others have had similar experiences?
Advanced dementia and CHF killed my mother, not hospice.
I prayed daily for God to "rush" their demise, honestly, because watching them "live" like they were "living" was gruesome. To want to extend their lives by a week or even a few days would've been cruel.
When it's my time to die, I pray that my final days and hours are as "rushed" as possible, rather than dragged out in a bed holding onto life as if "this life" was all there was.
My condolences on your loss.
It seems to me, in reading these posts concerning Hospice, that family is not being told how things work when Hospice is involved? Not telling the family that a person is transitioning or the body is shutting down? In my opinion thats part of the Nurses responsibility to continue to explain what is going on. You have a rightb to ask questions, the Nurse should be available 24/7 or at least a staff member.
When the admitting nurse comes the client, spouse, family member, or friend should be there. Also, anvextra person. This is a stressful time. I know my Mom missed some of what was being said, I was there too.
Hospice is comfort care. By the time a Dr suggests Hospice, there is no more that can be done for that person. They are going to die.
It is recognized that death IS COMING. Death is EXPECTED. For many who are dying and for their families death is often now welcomed and hoped for so that the loved one need no longer be in torment and so that the family need no longer stand witness to NEEDLESS suffering for no reason.
The goal is not to delay or prevent death.
Hydration delays death. Giving fluids prolongs the death.
Treatment of infection delays death.
The goal is not to delay death.
THE GOAL IS TO MAKE THE EXPECTED DEATH EASier AND COMFORTABLE.
Medications will be given to prevent agitation and breathing difficulties and to keep the patient as comfortable as can be.
Antibiotics are TREATMENT. They are not given.
Hospice is brought in when treatments are no longer wanted.
When it is recognized that death is coming it is also recognized that death comes often with sepsis and infection. Almost always with dehydration and difficult breathing and fever. This is part of the death process.
I am sorry that hospice itself was so poor at explaining all of this to you.
That is a part of their job.
It is recognized that medications given by hospice may indeed HASTEN death by some moments, hours, even days. They help with agitation and with breathing and formation of phlegm, but they also do suppress the drive to breath.
I am so very sorry for your loss. It is recognized by grief counselors that our tendency is to want to blame someone or something for the death of our loved ones. If we can stay angry at someone or something we don't have to walk into the grief of loss.
Hospice will STILL BE THERE FOR YOU NOW. Please discuss your feelings with them.
Again I am so very very sorry for the grief; to stand witness to the body's last struggles for life is a thing that is terribly difficult to go through. That you were there for your loved one, wanted what you believed best, is a gift you gave that's beyond measure. Please focus if you are able on the wonderful memories you are left with. End of life is never easy to witness, but the memories of a lifetime will help.
IMO regrets are tied to the things you might have done differently if you had only known then what you've learned since, defending the system by telling people they could have changed agencies or could have dropped hospice temporarily in order to treat problems and then re-enrolled, or could have done x, y and z are not really addressing that reality.
My husband recently died and also developed a very high fever shortly before. Our hospice nurse explained that this is not uncommon. I wasn’t going to do anything about it, as he did not appear to be suffering in any way, but it was comforting to know that it can be part of the process.
It is grief, anger, fright all the emotions when you lose a loved one.
BUT....
If you truly felt that Hospice was not responding to your concerns you could have resigned Hospice, called 911 and had him transported to the hospital for treatment.
At the hospital if he needed CPR they would have done so. The result would have been Broken ribs, Cracked Sternum, most likely a punctured lung (or 2).
Giving IV's to a person that has a body that is shutting down. The fluid may not be processed properly and leads to swelling in various parts of the body. The kidneys shut down so they can not process fluids this can lead to a strain on the heart.
Financially Hospice bills Medicare, Medicaid and other insurance. They get paid while they are providing Hospice care if the person dies they no longer get paid so there is no financial reason to hasten a death. What other motive do you think there would be?
I am sorry for your loss.
I am sorry that you feel this way about Hospice but you are not the only one.
Since dad was on Hospice PLEASE take advantage of the Bereavement counseling that is offered.
Oh, to answer your question do I feel that Hospice hastened my LO's death? My Husband was on Hospice for almost 3 years so I do not think they hastened his death in any way.
Seems to me there job above all else is comfort, to make sure the patient is comfortable
More information would be helpful.
Please take care of yourself
You mention your father being close to death. Generally that implies that the time for death grows more iminent. My personal experience with hospice for my mother was very positive. I realize others may not share that sadly.
Hospice services are available after death to remaining families. Perhaps you can consider reaching out for clarification that might help you process your concerns.