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Akeel,
It is good that you have answered what other caregivers have asked.
You can get help with your question the more information you can give.

Can you tell us your Dad's age? It will help with the disability part of your question. If you are in the U.S., at age 65, Social Security benefits are no longer called disability.

In the meantime, maybe cooperating and supporting Stepmom in the things she does right will help her trust you. When morphine is involved, it is best that other family members do not administer it without permission from the primary caregiver. She should be locking it up maybe.

"Crying all day and night." "He also cannot speak for himself".
Has your Dad also had a stroke?
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Call Adult Protective Services. Is dad on hospice?
Call an elder law attorney, see nelf.org, file for emergency guardianship?
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BurntCaregiver Jul 2021
gladimhere,

Definitely call APS. That's a start because the step-mother has become a danger to the father now.
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If Dad can speak for himself, he can choose how & who will care for him.

It must be very hard to watch or hear from the sidelines. A heartbreaking time. Where not much is in your control.

The worst situation is when family members fight over caring. Take opposing sides, wrestle for control or micro-manage. You certainly don't want that to be your Dad's memories of his family.

Keeping Dad centre to his own care is key.
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Akeel,
Your step-mom could be suffering from sleep deprivation.

"She made the comment the other day that she was going to have my sister come sit with him so she could sleep."

Why is it that you could not have sat with your Dad?
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Akeel8815 Jul 2021
She was afraid that we would give him extra pain medicine when he is hurting. He just sits and cries all day and night. He also can’t speak for himself. He is completely dependent on someone 24/7.
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She must be dad's POA? Is dad competent? He can change POA if he is, but then the POA is only valid if dad is incapacitated.

Maybe dad wanted to go to NC. Maybe there are no restrictions on travel. Even without POA you can call the doc to tell what is going on. Doc will not tell you what is up with dad without him signing a HIPPA release. But, if what you tell him is alarming, doc could very well call APS.

Pain meds will cause constipation. But it sounds like he needs a softener and maybe a trip to the er. Is he on hospice?
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Akeel8815 Jul 2021
No he was worried about going. He made me write down the addresses to hospitals in the area with phone numbers. She said he cried the whole way there and that she felt like killing him.
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