We recently put my MIL with Alzheimer’s in a nursing home. I have to say I am not happy with them right now. When she was at home she wasn’t eating or drinking like she should. She was losing weight, not cleaning herself up like she should, and ended up with a UTI. She was dehydrated when she went to the hospital before she went to the nursing home. So we thought it best to have her in a long term care facility so trained personnel could help her with bathing, see to it that she ate, etc.
Since she has been there, she’s fallen and fractured a bone. She caught COVID even though they are not allowing visitors except through a window where they can talk on the phone. Now she has pneumonia as a result of the COVID. This is her third trip to the hospital since going to the home. Her blood pressure is way down and heart rate is way up. I suspect she’s dehydrated. I used to have to remind her to drink water on a regular basis.
Aren’t they supposed to supervise them better than that? I don’t mean like be in the room with them every minute but check on them every hour or so to remind them to eat and drink? I am asking because I honestly do not know. She was sent there because she lived alone and we felt like she was no longer safe at home. Living with us or other family wasn’t and isn’t an option. She isn’t living alone now since she’s in the nursing home but that seems to be the only thing that is different from being in her own home. Are they all like this or should we consider moving her? They took great care of her when she went there for rehab but I am not impressed with their long term care.
Hope you don't have the same problem. A picture is worth a 1000 denials of mistreatment.
You mentioned Rehab ... Rehab is much different than long-term care, because it generates more cash revenue streams. and b/c rehab is the $$sales driver to get people into those Long-term Care rooms billed at $7,000 per month, Truthfully Rehab is the easiest selling-point into long term care, it's also the point where many fight to get advertised services at a typical outside pace. When they realize that Rehab exists for not much more than adult day care, they'll pull their family member back into life, by bringing that family member home. Before it's too late.
Perhaps Long-term care is better described as living in a Motel6, with 3 meals per day delivered to your mom by the local GrubHub and, daily med disbursements by the local drug dealer (nurse), with help from the front desk with showering and getting dressed. And maybe a 10 minute visit from someone, from physical therapy, who might take the person for a short walk, maybe.
BUT placing her inside a LTC facility ensures she will be found, eventually, by someone, if something goes wrong.
It's the same in every Long-term facility: she will get 3 meals per day, which she may or may not eat, because legally it's her choice to ingest food or drink.
Remember ALL facilities are the same, doing minimums, to make more money, All facilities underpay whilst over-working staff. I must add that "CarePlans," are just pieces of paper, to ensure someone has seen your family member at least 4 times per year.
At our facility, one resident describes LongTerm Care as the place where society stores old + disabled people, because they're inconveniences to society, He calls it a people storagefacility, with decent food, where nobody really cares what happens, who lives or dies, as long as that revenue stream keeps flowing .... you get the idea ...
If that is lower than your expectations then you'll need to understand that everything looks better on paper, but your mother is safer than she would've been living alone.
My MIL was always a light eater. At 90 she would only take a few bites and say she was full even though she only weighed 115 Lb. SO when she was cared for
at home one lady would sit with her for an hour and over the course of an hour MIL would eat most everything on her plate. When MIL spent some weeks in the
nursing home, we paid this special person to go over at meal time to encourage MIL to eat her meals. Aggrivating but it did work. Otherwise the NH staff would remove her full plate within 15-20 minutes without a thought.
One night my daughter and visited and got him to drink water and ensure. All that time no one even tried, They were recommending hospice.
My gut said send him to the hospital Once there he fully recovered. I sent him to another facility. He was weak from that experience but did better for a few months until Covid hit.
Dehydration again despite my phone calls and reminders to be sure he drank. When we weren’t there I’m afraid they didn’t make sure he was drinking.
It can be their illness or dementia.
Also there’s no one really giving them one to one attention .
I think after a while my dad got so weak he couldn’t eat. He also had a terrible habit of staying up all night and sleeping all day therefore missing important meals. When he slept all day the staff couldn’t wake him. When I visited or my children
we had to leave he was in such a deep sleep.
As family you can visit and encourage them to eat but sometimes we can only do so much .
Best to you
Somebody tried to go see her the other day and she didn’t want to get out of bed to be wheeled out to the door, which is so unlike her.
I am sure that she will love your home cooked meals.
It’s so thoughtful of you to bring her favorite dishes that she loves.
My wealthy aunt died in 3 months after being put in an expensive facility. I don't trust those places at all.