I heard her tell a friend on the phone that she put her pillows on the floor so she could slide off without hurting herself later in the day after the 1st incident. The 2nd day, she said she passed out in the hallway but her bp was extremely elevated and EMS questioned that because bp drops when you pass out. Telltale 2 pillows on the floor where I’m sure she slid off. Not to mention she peed on the floor both times. She’s the elderly lady who cried wolf. I’m starting to question anything she tells me, which will not be good when she really is in a jam. No help from 3 siblings. She treats everyone well except the caregiver ~ me.
What attention/payoff does she get by falling? Is there a nice fuss & then comfort? Or has she become incontinent but embarrassed & would rather blame it on a fall??
I gave my relative the benefit of doubt when she was unable to get into or out of my car without help until I watched her when my DH drove her. She did it all herself. Game up! I told her PT who said it was manipulation & attention seeking behaviour.
The more I helped her, the more helpless she became. When I assisted her off the floor, she would try less. In the end I stopped trying & now EMS is called. Every time. It's horrible to waste their time, but I cannot lift her. If EMS report to social services that she is too frail to live alone, then so be it. I agree.
I believe sometimes people are stuck in (or return to) an infant stage where they are testing out their limits on their world - how they can control their main carer. Like a baby trying different cries to get a parents attention.
Watch & wait. Set your own limits. If this becomes worse, consider a neuro psych review.
Time for mother to move into Assisted Living and pay others to deal with her b.s. now. Enough is enough.
Fwiw, my mother has fallen 56x now in AL, and has never been to the hospital even once for an injury as a result. Pretty staggering odds, dontcha think?
Good luck!
Sorry, but unless we are stone cold crazy we do not fall on the floor and pee there.
This could be TIAs (trans ischemic attacks) and she could need help very badly. Do not ignore.
Your siblings will not be helping out and that happens more often than not in an elder care situation. No one wants to take on the burden if they don't have to.
Here's how to handle it. Talk to your mom and don't let her know that you're onto her faking it. Then tell her that you cannot take care of her properly anymore because of her falling so much, and it's not safe for her to be at home any more. Then tell her that you've looked at a few nursing homes and she will have to be placed because it's not safe for her anymore. Also tell her that the paramedics have called APS (Adult Protective Services) because of the falling and she is a senior who cannot safely live on her own anymore and they are required by law to do this. The state will take over her life and situation, and there will be nothing you or her will be able to do about it.
I'm pretty sure the "falls" will decrease greatly or stop altogether when she learns that her game will have consequences that she will not be in control of. If she has dementia for real, then she belongs in a care facility.