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This is not an open invitation to agree or disagree. I'm just wondering if others still face ongoing criticism of your choices no matter the side you are on.


A person with Parkinson’s (and elderly in general) can be very high risk for pneumonia because their ability to produce a deep cough can be limited. Because of this I continue to be protective of my husband.


Even before COVID we did not go to church when flu risk was high, only took him into stores during the slow hours and used Walmart grocery pickup when they were the only ones offering it. Now I am extremely thankful to have our church by streaming video and have even more pickup or delivery shopping options.


Now that most people have relaxed their personal guard against COVID I have received “encouragement” that I should do the same. I CHOOSE to wear a mask in public groups (even outside), I avoid groups unless necessary, I try to keep my distance when possible, I ask repairmen and caregivers to wear a mask when entering my home, etc.


Is it inconvenient? YES. However, I keep trying to explain that I will be the one to pay the consequences if either one of us get even just a cold. Being a caregiver is hard enough without having a stuffy head, etc. Others can go to bed and sleep it off when they feel bad but not a 24/7 caregiver. He is very little help for me or himself when I have a down day. Should we both get sick at the same time I honestly don’t know how we would fare. Yes, others would offer to help but I’m sure there would be no one able to step in and replace me. The VA gives me 14 hours of caregiver assistance a week. If used at one time, that is not even one 24 hour period.


The experiences we have had with previous hospitalizations tells me that we definitely don’t want to have another. If it is the caregiver who is hospitalized, there is the added stress not knowing who or how their loved one is being cared for back at home.


Yes, I do have faith in God that he is in control and whatever happens He will carry me through. However, I don’t feel it gives me the freedom to throw caution to the wind . For me, following basic COVID protocol is a lot easier to minimize the risks.

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For some reason your post reminded me of this story

"A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.
"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."
"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."
Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.
"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."
Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."
After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.
"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."
Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.
And, predictably, he drowns.
A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"
God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Yes, I had heard that story too and it comes to mind when well-meaning folks make comments that seem to be questioning the amount of faith I have or lack thereof. We each have to make the best decisions based on our experiences. Having had to advocate for my husband several times in the hospital over the years tells me I need to be protective so as to minimize the risk of another trip.
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No, I am no longer in the slightest frustrated.
I think we should all do exactly as we please as regards all this, and take the risks we choose and pay the consequences thereof. I give this no thought whatsoever anymore. Not worth my time or my trouble. Just got my 4th shot. I mask up where I please, and I don't give a single thought to others and their choices in this matter. Living my life to the fullest, sometimes masked (hey, they hide wrinkles) and when not in public, not.
It has become too divisive to bring up. I make my own choices and I live by them/with them. I am good with others making the choice they feel best for themselves.
Frankly, at this point, with all the information out there, I think our choices are somewhat Darwinian, and I can almost enjoy that. But then I am of a somewhat perverse nature and think us overpopulated anyway.
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sp19690 Jun 2022
Darwinian says the person on their 4th shot. And unlike you I get no perverse pleasure in mentioning this irony.
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You understandably don't want to invite commenters here to agree or disagree, but I don't mind at all.

My father was 92 when COVID took off. He has diabetes and chronic lymphocytic leukemia. Luckily neither really bothers him that much. But he is very old and immune-compromised.

You bet I protected him. Like a Tasmanian Devil on a bad hair day. No one got in his house without a mask. I had a box of N95s by the front door so no one had an excuse. No one came into his house without me being there to make sure they were wearing a mask and staying six feet away from him. This meant that anytime anyone was coming to the house I had to drive half an hour to get there. Everyone but workmen who were not going to be around him had to wash their hands for two renditions of Happy Birthday first thing through the door.

Anyone not wearing a mask was handed a mask. Anyone who wasn't wearing the mask over their nose and mouth were told to adjust it. I required all caregivers to show me their vaccination card the first time they came to work. I wore a mask every time I went out and got all my vaccinations as did my father.

I did this for two damn years.

I still wear my mask in public. I like it because it protects against airborne sickness in general and I don't have to put on makeup. I have heard about people being pestered about continuing to wear a mask. I live in a blue town in a pretty blue state. No one has ever said anything to me about my wearing a mask. And if anyone ever had the nerve to do so, they would be looking for their head for a week.

So what do you think happened? Omicron came along. His caregiver -- who showed me her vaccination card -- called in sick. I broke my ever-loving neck to get a home testing kit to test her. The test was negative. Then she called in sick two weeks later. This time I just took him right down to the city testing center and he came up positive. We got the results on a Friday. He got the Omicron monoclonal antibody treatment on Monday. He's fine as far as Omicron COVID goes.

That's my history. Now here's my opinion. NO ONE HAS ANY RIGHT AT ALL TO TELL YOU WHAT TO PUT OR NOT PUT ON YOUR FACE. OR HOW YOU CARE FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR HUSBAND. It is rude. It is childish. It is wrong.

You are the one in charge. IMHO, you do whatever it is you think you should do to protect the both of you. As for relaxing protocols, the medical center I take my dad to still requires masking. That's good enough for me. Also, we don't know if a new mutation may be around the corner.

Anyone who is giving you lip about changing what you're doing because COVID is "gone" is invited by me to take an express elevator to the Ninth Circle.

Now that I've had my rant, I wish both of you the very best.
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KPWCSC Jun 2022
Thanks, see my response to MissyE on 6/7.
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You do not need to explain your choices about wearing a mask to ANYONE.

I see people with masks still in many locations. I would never say a word to them about it. You don't know what their general health is, or if they're caring for a LO who is high risk. In fact, it's none of our business.

You do what feels right for you. You owe no one an explanation for your masking up. I see many people still masking, and after having the Omicron variant a month ago and STILL being sick---I wish whomever had it, HAD masked up. I nearly died. DH caught it in the airport, I imagine. He said about half the people there wore masks.

It's become so common. Why is it even an issue anymore?

And yes, as DH's main CG, when we were both super sick, I was completely unable to care for him. I don't even know if he ate for 2 weeks. Our daughters ordered food delivery for us and cared for us 'remotely'.
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I work with the public and a large staff, and I interact with everyone as socially distanced as possible while wearing a face covering. My entire household (including me) has not had COVID and we are doing everything we can to prevent COVID from entering our bodies.

Me and my wife went to Disneyland a month ago, and we were part of a small group of folks that were wearing face coverings. We asked to be seated on the front of every Rollercoaster and ride, so it created a longer wait time for us but we knew we were safer at the front instead of having all of the screaming folks saliva droplets hitting us in the face. As a result of our precautions, we did not catch COVID after being in a super-packed theme park all day.

Did people look at us like we were aliens, or give us 'the smirk' because they saw us with face coverings? YES, many of them did, but me and my wife didn't care because we are protecting ourselves and an elderly sick mother waiting at our home. The 24-hour caregiver we paid to stay with mom had to wear a face covering around mom, wash her hands for 20-seconds, and wipe down her phone and other touched surfaces with alcohol wipes.

We also use curbside pick-up for groceries (except for picking produce and meats).

So I get it!

Protect your household by requiring face coverings, shoe coverings, hand washings, sanitizing wipes, etc.

Do what you feel is necessary to protect your household!
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Since my mother died I am little looser with my personal protection; the young children coming in my home being my biggest risk. I did get omicron from the children but had a mild case due to my vaccination.

I do get tired of people criticizing others who choose to wear masks - I would probably be one of them and keeping the kids outside on the enclosed porch if my mother still lived.

I am really tired of hearing all the anti-vax bs when there are now literally mountains of data showing the good of the vaccines outweighs the side effects for most people and the lack of respect (and mandates) trying to force vaccination.

I absolutely hate watching my niece-in law's 11 year old niece being short of breath and lacking normal stamina at the splash pad this week because her lungs were damaged by covid.

I dislike the damage to my nephew's marriage because he decided to vaccinate his son without telling the mother who vehemently opposes vaccination. Everone in our family who got omicron and was vaccinated had a mild case and recovered quickly. Two of the three individuals who were not vaccinated ended up hospitalized and the little girl has continuing problems. Its difficult not to feel her custodial aunt let her down.

I am tired of people thinking they have the right to comment to strangers about their choices. Leave people alone to live and die by their choices. We know enough now (if we want to) to choose our risk level; let the people who are extra cautious alone!
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3 friends have Covid. I mask when I’m around a group of people. If anyone comments, I say I do it to protect vulnerable people in my world.
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I share your concerns. My elderly mom was exposed to COVID x2 from her caregiver, but did not test positive or show symptoms. Then she was exposed to a variant of influenza not covered by the flu vaccine given last fall. Eventually ended up in ER and admitted for 2 overnights due to flu. Home now, and has 24 hour caregivers...her quality of life is much better now. Meanwhile, I have a chronic illness so high risk....no mask use by caregivers, or my sister who. manages care. My spouse and I stick to our masks, social distancing, etc. Oh, the looks that we get! Stick to what you know is right for you and your husband. It is a burden and feels lonely, for sure.
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God bless everyone. These last few years w/COVID, lockdowns, and continued surges have been up ending for all, up ending for humanity. It is not for others to judge, criticize and/or cajole folks to doing what they may believe is safe, reasonable or "normal" as the may see it now. Normal is just a setting on one's washing machine. You have the right to make decisions and take the steps necessary to do what you believe is safe for you and yours, period.

This past weekend, a dear friend's daughter got married. There were 150 people from all over the US as well as 10 under age 5 unvaccinated kids. Many choose to attend the 1.5 hour long church service indoors, w/o masks AND then go to the full reception including a crowded inside dinner event and inside dancing until 10 pm. I choose to only go to the 1 hour outdoor cocktail part of the reception. I was double-masked AND did not eat or drink anything. I got to see folks I had not seen in 2.5 year and enjoy the celebration the WAY I was comfortable. Most folks were unmasked. NO one verbally said anything about my mask on and not attending the full event decision. AND only a very few I could see in their eyes judgment, but I do NOT CARE. As adults we get to make our own decisions and those who love and understand us, will understand and not judge. Those who do judge, criticize or cajole are the ones with the problem.

You do you want need to do to keep you and yours safe! And do not look back at those judging eyes, comments or actions. If necessary, just say a simple "You have not right to judge me", then turn and walk away from them.
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Babs2013 Jun 2022
I have been there my BIL passed away they called his funeral the covid spreader. There were only 5 of us wearing masks and one of those was a funeral person. Out of about 50 people who should up 25 got covid. So its the best thing to wear a mask no matter where you are.
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It’s your life, I’m still taking my precautions and prepared to answer anyone that dare ask why, my answer will be “you do you and I will do me, so don’t worry about my choices”. I also take care of my 91 year old father, my Mother is in a nursing home with dementia and I spend a lot of time with her, so I’m very careful not to get sick or get them sick.
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