Lolaloud Asked June 2021
Does anyone even send flowers or cards anymore after someone dies?
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It’s been three months since mom passed, no cards or flowers. Nothing. I get it people are in their own little world and don’t care. I don’t know where to put this topic sorry if I put in wrong place. It feels like you're alone and no one cares no one asks how you're doing, it’s been a struggle. No one calls or texts, when they get sick I’m not going to care at this point talking about her side of the family. She wanted her cousin there but her jewelry line is more important I guess I am just a step not related to them. Just a lot going on work helps and lots of therapy.
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Flowers really aren't a thing anymore, because of the "In lieu of flowers" note always in obituaries, but out of 350 people at my dad's funeral, only 12 sent donations. (That was totally fine with me.)
What I did treasure, though, were those 350 people who made the effort to come to his service. Our minds were absolutely blown.
Rather than dwell on the lack of consideration by others, try to pay it forward and do for others what was not done for them. Long before my dad died, I started sending copies to the family of photos I might have had of the deceased person, especially if it was from an event where family might not have been in attendance. I started doing it when our neighbors' 16-year-old daughter died suddenly, and her mother was so grateful to have more pictures of the child she'd never see again. I know I'd give anything for more pictures of my dad from any era.
Use your pain to show more consideration to others in theirs, and you may succeed in teaching them that compassion and kindness are never inappropriate.
Heaven lit up with a mighty presence,
as the Angels all looked down.
Today the Lord was placing the jewels
Into my mother’s crown.
He held up a golden crown,
as my darling mother looked on.
He said in His gentle voice,
‘I will now explain each one.’
‘The first gem,’ He said, ‘is a Ruby,
and it’s for endurance alone,
for all the nights you waited up
for your children to come home.’
‘For all the nights by their bedside,
you stayed till the fever went down.
For nursing every little wound,
I add this ruby to your crown.’
‘An emerald, I’ll place by the ruby,
for leading your child in the right way.
For teaching them the lessons,
That made them who they are today.’
‘For always being right there,
through all life’s important events.
I give you a sapphire stone,
for the time and love you spent.’
‘For untying the strings that held them,
when they grew up and left home.
I give you this one for courage.’
Then the Lord added a garnet stone.
‘I’ll place a stone of amethyst,’ He said.
‘For all the times you spent on your knees,
when you asked if I’d take care of your children,
and then for having faith in Me.’
‘I have a pearl for every little sacrifice
that you made without them knowing.
For all the times you went without,
to keep them happy, healthy and growing.’
‘And last of all I have a diamond,
the greatest one of all,
for sharing unconditional love
whether they were big or small.’
‘It was you love that helped them grow
Feeling safe and happy and proud
A love so strong and pure
It could shift the darkest cloud.’
After the Lord placed the last jewel in,
He said, ‘Your crown is now complete,
You’ve earned your place in Heaven
With your children at your feet.’
And please accept my sympathy for your loss. Being a caregiver consumes one’s life. And when that person’s gone, there’s a big hole.💕
Please focus on treating yourself kindly. Pick up a bouquet at a farmer’s market or give yourself a break by getting carryout instead of cooking.
Treat yourself with great loving kindness.
Take care
My brother committed suicide during Covid, he was 60, and absolutely not one person sent any condolences.
I figure I really don’t have any relationships that care.
Seems as if no one has the time to drop a card from the dollar store anymore.
I have learned that you truly are here on your own, with only prayer to help you through this time.
Thank God I have a caring Husband.
I am sad too that my niece didn’t teach her sons to write thank you cards and I finally cut out gifts to them as they live out of state and I never knew if they liked anything I sent. Even my niece who was raised by my sister isn’t too great about thank you cards. I guess this is a sign of the times but it’s a sad sign.
For me, I will continue to call and send cards and hopefully it will help the person and set an example.