I guess any job that's 24/7 365 gets old and frustrating. I think the key is breaks. Doing things for yourself? But what if there are very few breaks and there's no time for yourself bc you struggle to keep everything going. Then one day you look in the mirror and you feel like you've aged. I sat for weeks in the hospital with my mom and basically sat and ate and sat and ate hospital food. I realized one day I couldn't go to the bathroom anymore. Took me 7 months to fix that health problem. Does anyone ever wonder what will be left of you when caregiving services are over? Its hard some days not to be resentful or angry or sad and crying. Every emotion I've been thru. Lately im a mess. Needing to find a job, but needed too much to be able to work. Work would be a break. A place to talk to other adults outside my small little world revolved around someone else's needs always. Does anyone feel this way? Do you feel guilty or is this normal to extreme caregiving?
You tube has tens of thousands of sermons, self help videos, all of our happy songs are on there, books, movies etc. all for free- make a pair of ear buds one of your favorite things.
Psychologically I think it even helps us In blocking out the bad and feeding ourselves only the good. Streamlined right in to our ears and mind.
“When i tell him he needed help that i can't do it all day, he said he doesn't need me or any help...yet he calls me 15 times a day for this or that.” ... I have learned to set boundaries.. I don’t go to my mom’s at the drop of a hat, actually I drop by every other day or often 3 days .. I also have her over Sunday’s for dinner. I get her to her app’ts & keep control & track of her $ to pay her bills etc .. as POA. I was warned when I got mom moved close to me to NOT go over every day, to NOT be at her beck/call .. it becomes expected —
again, the saying “we teach people how to treat us”
You are doing lots right, you have help hour him... take time with your family & esp. dear grandchild ... we never know how long our health will last ourselves.
all the best - you’re doing awesome - scale back & KNOW you are meant to live your life as well & not be sucked in yo the vortex of your dad’s world ❣️💗
Hugs 🤗
Are you looking ahead at finding a placement for your mum? It seems you are pretty stretched and things are only going to get worse as her diseases progress. If she isn't able to fund her care there is medicaid. Meanwhile have you checked with the local agency for aging to see if you can get some help weekly for her so you have some hours to yourself? If she ends up in hospital again please take some time out for yourself. The staff there will care for your mother. You don't have to be there all the time. You count too!!! ((((((hugs))))))
I was driving by the hospital so I went to the emergency room. They were so nice and helpful. After 4 hours of tests and just resting I was sent home with instructions to follow up with my dr.
A bit embarrassing but a sort of wake up call to slow down and take care of myself. Especially after the dr kept telling me that my age, 65, does put me in the age bracket for a heart attack.