I guess any job that's 24/7 365 gets old and frustrating. I think the key is breaks. Doing things for yourself? But what if there are very few breaks and there's no time for yourself bc you struggle to keep everything going. Then one day you look in the mirror and you feel like you've aged. I sat for weeks in the hospital with my mom and basically sat and ate and sat and ate hospital food. I realized one day I couldn't go to the bathroom anymore. Took me 7 months to fix that health problem. Does anyone ever wonder what will be left of you when caregiving services are over? Its hard some days not to be resentful or angry or sad and crying. Every emotion I've been thru. Lately im a mess. Needing to find a job, but needed too much to be able to work. Work would be a break. A place to talk to other adults outside my small little world revolved around someone else's needs always. Does anyone feel this way? Do you feel guilty or is this normal to extreme caregiving?
What is your mother's financial situation? Do you have POA/HCPOA? Is your mother paying you?
You are only 47 years old. What kind of retirement will you have if you aren't working now?
YOU MUST STOP going down this path. Your mother is slowly killing you while she's alive. After she dies, she will still continue killing you from the grave, because after she's gone, you will be lost, no job, no money, and not knowing what to do with yourself and your future. The longer you are out of the work force, the harder it will be to find a job.
I am the only daughter. I was expected to do it all. This was hard as I am married and was raising my own children. Even after my children left home it was still very hard. It is too much for one person to do everything without conflict. It’s simply exhausting!
Too much togetherness causes an issue. They still view us as their child who should obey them. They are often set in their ways and aren’t willing to make adjustments. They become more and more dependent on us.
You’re not alone. All caregivers experience these things. I’m sorry things are difficult for you. I understand how it is. Been there, done that.
My relationship became complicated with my mom. She is no longer in my home.
I wish you well. Vent anytime.
Sending a bazillion hugs your way!
If you continue to let your mother run the show - a’la “she’s not agreeable” and live to fulfill a promise you are ill equipped- thru no fault of your own - to keep, you’re going to wind up in the grave before your mother will.
Time for you to take a step back and make some realistic assessments of what you can do - without sacrificing your own health. Both mental and physical.
What helps some people is hiring someone to help for a few hours.
All the best