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My husband will only wash once or twice a week. He hurts near where his hip replacement is but they say it’s in place. He also has had two back surgeries and all apparatus is in place but he cannot have spinal injections because there is too much metal in his spine. The house smells awful. He also smokes, even though he smokes outside it waifs in with him and on his clothes. I’m sure others know of the cleaning the bathroom once or twice a day. Is there something special I can do to reduce the odor? I do the normal cleaning and clean where he sits when he washes. We really get no visitors besides my daughter and grandchildren. The few that have come by have not returned for another visit. I also notice when I come back home from running errands .

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I would use an essential oil diffuser.

You can set a couple throughout the house and reduce foul odors by using oils that are specific for killing bacteria, bergamot or frankincense are great bases for odors and mix and match to find the fragrance that you like.

I use lemon, grapefruit and may ling with bergamot for a fresh clean smell and the diffuser runs for 6 to 8 hours. Lavender can help relax everyone, cinnamon can stimulate your brain. The options are truly endless and the results are very pleasing.

Have you tried a no rinse body wash for the stinky parts?

Unless he never puts pjs on and just stays in the same clothes for a week you could steal his clothes at night and set out clean ones.

Pet odor candles are really good for killing the smell of cigarettes. I used them for years and my house didn't smell like a dirty ashtray. I would burn them close to him to get him deodorized as much as possible.

Vinegar is a great bathroom deodorizer because it kills the enzymes that cause the odor. So spraying it around after cleaning neutralizes any residual odor.

I hope you find something that works for you, smelly house is difficult to live in. Hugs, such a difficult situation.
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Marysd Dec 2019
I second using an oil diffuser. I have one in my parents room at the facility where they live and keep it running almost around the clock. No more urine or bad smells. Choose a fragrance you both like and it does wonders.
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Your husband is a smoker and has alcohol-induced dementia. His body odor is worse than the average person's because of all the chemicals that are oozing out of his pores. You cannot cover up those odors because, as you said, you can't bag your husband. His odors permeate everything he wears and sits on.

I would start by hiring a professional cleaning service to clean all of your upholstery. That will make maintaining your home a bit easier.

Use ammonia to deodorize all of his laundry. Wash his laundry separately. Let it soak in the machine for 15 minutes before washing. Dry his laundry on high heat or, weather permitting, on a clothes line in the sunshine. Other laundry additives you can try include pine soap and white vinegar plus baking soda.

If humidity is a problem, get a dehumidifier. Humidity only makes odors worse.

Even in the winter you can open all windows for 5-minutes in order to air out your home. I come from a mighty cold part of the USA and it's a routine that my mother did and that I continue to this day.
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Bathing issues due to pain - are you trying to get him to sit down in the tub, stand in a shower, or sit on a bench? There can be reluctance on all of these for various reasons. Too hard to get out of the tub. Painful to stand that long. Getting chilled sitting on bench while trying to soap up and rinse off. Check in to a bath lift that can lower into the tub which would get his entire lower half into a hot soaking bath. Best money I ever spent for my mom was on a chair lift mounted to floor/ceiling that lowers into the tub. I got so tired of the water everywhere when trying to shower on the bath stool and she was freezing the whole time. You can call 509 670 2711 to get them to send you pictures and info.

While it may be cold outside, open windows and put a fan in the window backwards. So it sucks air out of room and blows to outside. Wipe down every single thing in the room with disinfectant type cleaner (fabuloso makes some good smelling cleaners versus the old standard pine smells). Take the bedding to a laundromat and wash thoroughly - Original gain has a nice clean smell in soaps and dryer sheets. Change sheets everyday. Clothing in closets may have old smells as well - get rid of what's no longer worn and wash the rest. Go at it one room at a time and continue airing out that room daily as you work on other rooms.

Other smells can be years of nicotine or urine on the soft fabrics of the house - carpet, furniture, bedding, etc. Have steam cleaning company come in and do all the flooring and furniture. If he has some leakage, you might need to replace his favorite sitting chair. (Try to find another that is very similar to what he has now since his body has conformed to that particular style.) If you are tackling one room at a time, have the steam cleaner do the same - you clean and have them come. If there was ever smoking inside the house, you may need to paint walls and use first coat of a sealer type paint like Kilz.

For the outside smoking that gets sucked back in when you open door or gets on his clothing, put a fan outside that blows the smoke away from him and the door as he smokes.

After cleaning furniture, get a few of those rubber backed mattress pads and cut to fit his chair. You might leave the fitted corners at one end to give it a pocket to hang on to top of chair. Change those each day w/bedding. If he has leakage issues, try some pull up type underwear and if he is resistant to those, they make incontinence pads for women (might have some for men) that you could have him put inside his own underwear.

There are also Gain wax melts that can help - don't use them to cover up odors, use them in addition to the cleaning effort. (You can tell I'm a Gain promoter!! Love the smell).

Sams sells some very large adult wipes (and cheaper in price than anything else you'll find). Order online and you don't have to carry them from store to house. If he is not up to a bath one day (or does his bath in the mornings, have him wipe off every nook and cranny with the adult wipes before he goes to bed each night. I doubt he wants to be the smelly guy, but he probably no longer smells any of the things irritating you and others.
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Psyclinz Dec 2019
Wow, sounds like A LOT of work, but you have some really great ideas that I am going to take on. I hope Trying2019 has someone who can help with this big big ongoing job, maybe daughter can help? Wishing Trying and her husband an easier time, less pain, and kind assistance to help them through their time of need.
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It isn't special, but one thing you could do (which goes to the heart of the matter, so to speak) is hire trained aides to come in in pairs and get your husband properly clean. Some of these people are bathing tornadoes (though kind and caring with it) and your husband would find resistance futile :)

Is that something you'd consider? Also, has your husband's personal care routine been assessed with an Occupational Therapist? If discomfort is the real reason he won't wash more often (and not just an excuse), an OT might have some excellent answers.

ALL houses smell, by the way. Haven't you found that? That when you visit a friend or a family member after a long interval, the second you walk in you know where you are just through your nose? But there's personal, familiar smell; and then there's "doesn't grandpa like baths?" smell; and the latter I hope you'll be able to do something about.
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Trying2019 Dec 2019
We are not in an area to have access to trained aides. They have addressed it when we had a home visit this year, he listens and agrees, once the person is gone he does what he wants to. Of course I know all homes have their smell, but the one here is very different now.
He just won’t listen to me. I’m not a nagger, I never have been, maybe that’s my problem I’m not forceful enough. If I ask him to shower twice in a row, he considers that nagging!
If I disagree with him, he says I’m yelling at him...
things have changed and I just have to find a way to deal with it.
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The nicotine will make urine smell worse. People who smoke are more likely to have protein in the urine which will cause kidney damage. It sounds like he is having accidents around the bed sheets, clothing, and his clothing probably as a complication of back surgeries. Perhaps getting disposable briefs may help (if he is able to walk). Make sure you have advanced directives signed, an estate will, Pre-arranged funeral, and has power of attorney set up when he does have his heart attack or stroke since he will not stop smoking and much, much higher risk. See an Eldercare attorney.

If he can shower, get a shower chair, and make sure you install plenty of grabs for him to hold on to, along with a non-slip lining.
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Pet stores sell an enzyme cleaner to eliminate the smell of urine. It works well on human urine also.

white vinegar does wonders in the washer for odors on clothing. I have also used ionic air purifiers in the house.

As far as hygiene and not bathing they sell microwaveable bathing wipes for bathing. They work wonderfully along with a dry shampoo.
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What about using a shower bench so he could shower regularly and having a removable shower handle so he can rinse.I assume you'd be assisting him.As far as smells in the bathroom.I use bathroom spray w clorox,clorox,and clorox wipes.Not all at the same time.Window slightly open so the fumes don't knock me out.

As far as smells in the house baking soda absorbs smells.Try putting small bowls of it around the house.Hope this helps.I have a similar issue with my 84yr old father.
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Is your husband having "toileting accidents"? Then he may benefit from wearing adult diapers, There are some really nice ones that look a lot like undergarments. I clean using a combination of white vinegar, rubbing alcohol and water with a little essential oil thrown in for fragrance. It seems to cut down an bacteria and odor on my hard surfaces (do not use on stone countertops). Non chlorine bleach and presoaking garments helps with those odors.

Does your hubby smell like urine/ammonia? If so, please have his doctor check him out for kidney issues. Folks with kidney failure start excreting waste products of protein digestion into their skin. This makes their skin and breath smell terrible. It also makes the skin very itchy.

If kidneys are not a problem, see if your hubby will sit in a shower chair in the tub and allow you to shower him with a handheld shower. This worked well for my gram who disliked taking a bath. Metal implants can transmit cold better than bone. So metal implanted areas may feel more sore during winter. Try warming the bathroom with a space heater beforehand and warming clothes in the dryer beforehand too.
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Try vinegar in bowls around the house. My Mom had a blow out. A friend recommended vinegar for the smell I couldn't get rid of. I used Pinesol and bleach. After a day I saw a big difference, 2 even more.

Maybe husband needs to take at least a sponge bath. Also, a change of clothes every day. Deodorant every day after a wash. Went my Mom tried to get out of a wash, I asked her if she wanted to stink, she said no and let me wash. I tended to be blunt to get my way.
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needtowashhair Dec 2019
I'm not sure how well vinegar would work in this case. Vinegar works to fight odors by killing stuff that makes odors. It's a mild acid so changes the PH enough to kill bacteria. So unless she drenches her husband in it, it's not going to do much. It doesn't absorb smelly molecules out of the air. It does have a smell of it's own so may reduce the apparent odor by masking it with another. Like perfume.

Bowls of activated carbon(charcoal) would physically remove odors. The reactive surface will bind the odorous molecules eliminating them from the air. The downside to activated carbon is that it's not cheap. A cheap alternative is charcoal like what you would use on a grill. It's not as reactive as activated charcoal but can still be somewhat effective.
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We used Clorox Urine Remover and Odor Control Cleaner sold at Lowe’s. When cleaning the floor around the toilet we used paper towels saturated with the cleaner to absorb any urine that seeped under the base of the toilet. The thinness of one paper towel made it perfect to slide under the base and the actual floor. Time consuming yet better than pulling the toilet. If you have someone that can pull the toilet it’s even better we did not. We began having my Dad with early-stage dementia sit on the toilet and not stand when urinating as his aim was very difficult to control as his disease progressed. Sitting also helped Dad completely empty his bladder than the normal standing up and urinating.
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