My mom is in danger of losing her placement in an assisted living memory care facility if we can't get her aggression under control to the point that she is not hurting staff members. She is currently in the behavior support geriatric unit at the local hospital, but they have been very UNhelpful thus far.
I was told yesterday "now all you kids have grown up & it's time you MOVED OUT! This is MY house & I don't need you here". (I am an assistant on staff on the orthopeadic ward of the local hospital).
So we backed off. This lady needed space. She can swear, hit out. Tried for a grab of my hair (but I'm a good dodger).
Tell me about about your Mom.
Aggression is communication: Unmet needs.
It’s an extremely challenging situation. As harsh as it sounds, these people need to be in facilities, instead of being near others. I think it’s best to let professionals handle extreme cases of violence.
Some of these people have super strength when their adrenaline is high.
Please follow Bernermom’s advice. She handled her situation with aggressive behavior properly. No one should have to live in fear of someone that they are caring for, even if the one that they are caring for can’t help it. Both of you need help before it gets worse.
Once I was helping out a neighbor whose son has severe autism. He was a non verbal very large and strong teenager at the time. I am very small, always have been.
I had sat with him since he was a toddler and while he had temper tantrums, he wasn’t ever violent with me.
Well, he became aggressive with me. I did the same thing as Bernermom, I reported the incident. I was black and blue after his attack. He was so strong that there was no way that I could defend myself. Plus, he was over six feet and 200 plus pounds. I am five feet and just over 100 pounds.
His mom confessed that he frequently attacked her and his grandmother! Unfortunately, meds didn’t work for him because my neighbor had been a nurse at one time and thought that she knew best and would adjust his meds without consulting his psychiatrist.
Poor kid was probably going through withdrawals because of her haphazard ways. As much as I felt badly for her, I stopped sitting with him. It was terrifying to be attacked by him.
I felt badly for my neighbor as a single mom who never had time for herself so I used to help her out when needed. This poor woman does everything for her son, wipes him after going to the bathroom, bathes him, shaves his face, brushes his teeth, etc. He can feed himself. Her daughter and my daughter were friends at school.
I was glad when she moved out of our neighborhood because I couldn’t stand seeing her covered in bruises. Last time I heard, he’s in his late 20’s and still beating up his mom. She has tried to kill herself twice due to the stress.
Please don’t accept any abuse. You could end up in a very dark place if you continue to remain in a vicious cycle. There is help out there. Reach out. No one deserves to be abused.
Best wishes to you and your family.
I hope that they find something that helps her calm down. Imagine how scared someone is to act like this.
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