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From your profile: About Me Just trying to find out why my sisters behavior is unbecoming.
"Unbecoming" behavior goes hand in hand with dementia, most often. Learn all you can about your sister and her dementia by reading Understanding the Dementia Experienced by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller. You can pick up a copy inexpensively on Amazon.
Inappropriate Sexual Behavior is common with dementia. Your sister is losing her inhibitions and may come onto others in AL inappropriately soon. Let her doctor know what's happening so meds can be prescribed to calm her down if necessary.
I'd replace her phone with a Raz Memory phone as Geaton suggests, also.
Back to being a teenager, huh? Geaton tells us that your sister is currently in AL with dementia. She is fully able to work the computer, is she? Or laptop? Or is she on a phone? I think if she is clearly capable of working these complicated devices I would have a discussion with her about the dangers and the inappropriate nature of what she is doing. I would tell her that her inability to monitor her own behavior with these devices may see them removed from her, or worse, a move into memory care where there is no availability of such devices.
Here's my REAL fear. Not that these pictures are going out or coming in, but that your sister will end up scammed if she has any access to finances of her own. So whatever you do, do get the POA involved to remove any online banking access and any charge access.
Your profile says your sister is in AL with dementia.
When we transitioned my MIL into AL for memory impairment, she only had a landline but was calling people from her address book at all hours of the day and night, multiple times a day -- and we had no idea she was doing it until one of her old neighbors got hold of my husband to tell him that his Mom was calling her at her home in Hawaii, 5 timezones away! At first I erased all the phone numbers in her book, and then eventually she basically forgot about calling people.
All this to say, even if you replace her current phone with a landline, she may continue to randomly call people or places. Every time my Mom can't remember how to use an appliance correctly, she gets out the Owner's Manual and calls up their Support people and drives them nuts taking them in circles so I've had to get rid of those as well.
It may be best to get her an old-style corded phone that gives you the ability to only make certain outgoing calls and take incoming calls from approved numbers.
( In the end, an Internet form isn’t going to be able to diagnose your sister, it sounds like she should see a doctor, but we can help you have a conversation).
I agree with everything that people have written, but one important question first: is your sister actually known to have dementia, and your question is whether this behavior could be from the dementia? That’s what most people are answering.
Or is this a new behavior, and you’re trying to figure out if this means she’s developing dementia? I don’t see any mention of know. dementia, or even your sister’s age, in the above. If she isn‘t know to have dementia this would be more complicated – as dementia would be one of only a number of things that could cause this behavior. (Especially if zero other signs of dementia). Could be psychosis/mania, coercion, substance abuse, etc.
i’m also not saying that this isn’t dementia and certainly there are certain types that are more associated with being disinhibited (and less with the loss of memory).
But is there anything else going on in her life, is she having any other symptoms or new behaviors? Is she already known to have dementia?
A person with dementia has lost the ability to make sound choices and can do an endless list of bad things. Make her phone disappear without discussion and make sure others in her world know not to let her use theirs or replace hers. This is the time when she needs protection even if it causes her to be unhappy for a while
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
About Me
Just trying to find out why my sisters behavior is unbecoming.
"Unbecoming" behavior goes hand in hand with dementia, most often. Learn all you can about your sister and her dementia by reading Understanding the Dementia Experienced by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller. You can pick up a copy inexpensively on Amazon.
Inappropriate Sexual Behavior is common with dementia. Your sister is losing her inhibitions and may come onto others in AL inappropriately soon. Let her doctor know what's happening so meds can be prescribed to calm her down if necessary.
I'd replace her phone with a Raz Memory phone as Geaton suggests, also.
Best of luck.
Geaton tells us that your sister is currently in AL with dementia.
She is fully able to work the computer, is she? Or laptop? Or is she on a phone?
I think if she is clearly capable of working these complicated devices I would have a discussion with her about the dangers and the inappropriate nature of what she is doing. I would tell her that her inability to monitor her own behavior with these devices may see them removed from her, or worse, a move into memory care where there is no availability of such devices.
Here's my REAL fear. Not that these pictures are going out or coming in, but that your sister will end up scammed if she has any access to finances of her own. So whatever you do, do get the POA involved to remove any online banking access and any charge access.
Good luck. This is one I haven't heard yet.
When we transitioned my MIL into AL for memory impairment, she only had a landline but was calling people from her address book at all hours of the day and night, multiple times a day -- and we had no idea she was doing it until one of her old neighbors got hold of my husband to tell him that his Mom was calling her at her home in Hawaii, 5 timezones away! At first I erased all the phone numbers in her book, and then eventually she basically forgot about calling people.
All this to say, even if you replace her current phone with a landline, she may continue to randomly call people or places. Every time my Mom can't remember how to use an appliance correctly, she gets out the Owner's Manual and calls up their Support people and drives them nuts taking them in circles so I've had to get rid of those as well.
It may be best to get her an old-style corded phone that gives you the ability to only make certain outgoing calls and take incoming calls from approved numbers.
I agree with everything that people have written, but one important question first: is your sister actually known to have dementia, and your question is whether this behavior could be from the dementia? That’s what most people are answering.
Or is this a new behavior, and you’re trying to figure out if this means she’s developing dementia? I don’t see any mention of know. dementia, or even your sister’s age, in the above. If she isn‘t know to have dementia this would be more complicated – as dementia would be one of only a number of things that could cause this behavior. (Especially if zero other signs of dementia). Could be psychosis/mania, coercion, substance abuse, etc.
i’m also not saying that this isn’t dementia and certainly there are certain types that are more associated with being disinhibited (and less with the loss of memory).
But is there anything else going on in her life, is she having any other symptoms or new behaviors? Is she already known to have dementia?
'Dementia' and 'Online'
Two other words for this are:
'Fire' and 'Gasoline'
A person with dementia can't be allowed to be online without supervision. If proper supervision cannot be provided, online has to become off line.
Take the phone away and replace it with a flip phone that does not have internet access.
What if she sends pics to someone under 18. She could get charged with sexual pedophile.