I would like to hear from other caregivers whose elderly parents still want to make decisions and influence their lives. These elderly parents may not have all their reasoning ability like they had in their younger years, but yet, they still want to control their grown adult children. My mother seems to be like this. Some of us hate to admit it.....(we all want to think our parents are the best), but I would have to say that my mother.....who is 88 years old.....she stills tries to influence/be controlling to this day. I purchased a new vehicle recently......and my 88 year old mother......spewed her influence into what vehicle I purchased.....yes, she can be a tyrant. Wow, what a life.....a grown adult man....."controlled"......at least a little.....by his elderly mother. What an odd life I have had! I'll explain it all in another post.
Aging doesn't always make controlling people less controlling. Some may become more so. Your only defense is to set boundaries and detach from their criticism. If you can just say, "Sorry you don' t like my car, Mom, but I really like it," she may be so surprised she'll back off. Keep your temper cool and repeat the words as necessary.
Take care of yourself and good luck,
Carol
Let it go (how many times have you heard that!!!) but that is the best advice I can give. Stop waiting for the approval, the pat on the back, or the "I'm sorry; I couldve done better parenting you" -- it just won't come. I'm 56 and my brother 65 and haven't had that from our parent(s).
I need a vehicle that doesn't hurt my back trying to exit the vehicle..... a vehicle where I don't need to dive into the trunk to get groceries but one that has a cargo bay where I just reach in...... a vehicle that is outstanding in the snow because I was on the road a lot with my career.
I found my perfect match, it was a 2 year old SUV.... here we go again, my parents telling me a used vehicle is nothing but problems, yada, yada, yada.... I was finally able to calm my parents down saying that every time *they* traded in their car [which they use to do every 2 years] the dealer sold it to someone else, therefore that person got a problem vehicle that my parents had previously owned???
Oh, don't buy a SUV, they tip over.... well, I've had this SUV now for many years and never came close to tipping it over :0
My significant other and I plan to buy a used Jeep Wrangler [he wants us to be the cool grandparents] to have as an extra vehicle but I don't dare tell my parents. I would like to see their faces when we drive up with the doors off and the roof wide open :P