Hi and sorry if this is all over the place. Im not in the best head space. For the last few your i (33f) have been taking care of my dad (62). He is having memory issues and arthritis pain. He has been kicked out of many doctors for bad behavior ranging to spreading lies or screaming at staff. Yet he refuses to help himself by moving. He sits on his bed all day watching tick tocks sometimes not even eating. We usually end up in screaming match once a day. I also have MDD or bipolar 2 my doctor and i are trying to determine which one. Living with him has gotten to the point that daily life is one big panic attack. How much money did he spend, has he eaten, has he taken his meds, what am i going to be yelled at today ect. Its gotten to the point i dont want to wake up in the morning. Yet i know with how he acts and his memory issues no one i know will help him and im his only child. I cant get him in a care unit since physically he is fine, money issues, his age, and knowing he will put up a fight that im not prepared for yet. So what can i do? How can i get even a little bit of a break and still help him? I feel like a bad daughter asking but i cant take much more. I just want to have a day to relax from my two jobs and not have to worry or tense up about him. Has anyone gone through something like this that can offer advice other then advil pm that is lol? Once again im sorry for being all over the place. Thank you for you time.
If you are so happy where you're at then you will honestly never seek to change the situation even though you know that you really should and really need to.
Your dad and your grandfather are NOT your responsibility. You need to grow up and spread your wings and fly.....as far away as possible from the dysfunction.
You obviously are very co-dependent on your dad and your grandfather and that is not healthy at all.
So for your own mental health's sake I do hope that you'll look into moving out sooner than later and get on with living and enjoying the one life that you have.
You cannot change him but you can change you and you must do so in order to become independent. Get into therapy in addition to working with medical/mental behavior doctors to find the right combo for your diagnosis. Good luck.
I think this very complex and likely not new relational difficulty is beyond what advice a forum can provide to you. There will be many complexities we cannot be aware of. We don't know you, don't know if you are working and have friends and other family support. Nor do we know your father, nor anything of your past relationship long term. Even were we to have all the fact in this, we aren't trained in mental health issues.
For myself I can only wish you the best and ask that you reach out for some talk therapy and for some guidance options to step out of habitual ways of behaving, so that you can move on and make a quality life for yourself.
It is unlikely your father will change. It is unlikely you can help him, or he you. You may in fact both hinder one another in recovery and best options. But habits, even bad ones. represent the "known" and the "known" represents "safety". There are few things so hard as stepping out and exploring other paths to wellness. It takes tremendous courage. I wish you the best.