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There is a way I can take both animals. Most apartments will take at least two pets. The Senior Citizen apartments only take one pet for some reason. And the Senior Citizen Apartments are based on my income, which is low income.

Because I am low income, the rent in regular apartments are as high as my income. However, I have enough money in my savings to pay for other things for a year or two, but that's all. Even though my animals are old, they may live longer than two years, and then I'd be in a bind.

I did talk to someone in another Senior Citizen Apartment in the same city and they too said only one pet, but I told them that my animals were old and they wouldn't be around too much longer and she did tell me, in a hush hush type of voice, that they probably would allow me to have my two pets. But the waiting list to get into this place could take a few years.

I do love myself, believe me, however, sometimes, a breathing living soul, (and animals are a living soul) when it comes to being tortured or mistreated, has to come first. I can't deliberately walk away from her knowing what will happen to her.

She loves me so. She kisses me all the time. I get the love from her that I don't get from my husband or family. We play, she gets her toy for me when I come back from shopping. She can't wait to see what I have in the grocery bag. Is their a special treat for her. (She's already licking her lips). She waits with great patience to see what's in the bags.

After she goes outside to do her business, if I don't give her a treat as a good girl when she comes in, she will stare at the treat bag on the coffee table, (Standing as stiff as can be, like a bird dog pointing at the bird on the ground), until I give her a treat.

She is funny, she is sweet, she is the love of my life, along with my cat who thinks she's a dog. My cat sits up like a dog. Every time you look at her she's sitting up or laying on her back. She is over weight and is very spoiled.

My cat is everywhere I am. If I go to the bathroom, there she is. If I go downstairs to the living room. There she is. If I go into the kitchen, there she is. She never let's me out of her sight.

If I don't see her for awhile, I will call her name, and I will see her peeking around the corner to see what I want. And I'll say, oh there you are. If she can't find me, she comes looking for me, on the rare occasions we aren't together.

You see these animals are not animals to me. They are my family. They give me what no other human being gives me, because my family lives very far away from me, so I have nobody else but them.

Could anyone walk away from their children knowing that they would be left in an abusers hands?

I can't. They are my family. They are my daughters. They are everything to me.

Arwen31 I will keep looking. I may try to get a doctors note stating that I have to have these animals, and see if this Senior Citizen place will make an exception that I have to have both. I think that's a good idea. My Primary Care Doctor, knows what I've been going through, I think he will do that for me. Then it will be up to the apartment complex.

Thanks for your love and caring for me on this site. At least it's a place for me to talk about it. Remember, these apartments haven't come open yet, so I have to stay, right now.
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Nancy,

You're to be commended for not leaving your pets. I wouldn't, either, and when at first you talked about leaving Munchie behind it was heartbreaking. I wish more people were as kind to animals as you are.

Eventually the Old Goat will be gone and you'll be free.
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Call a women's shelter--you a certainly abused--and see if you can take your companions with you. Then go from there. You are in a danger from this man, based on what I have read.
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alliephillips.com/saf-tprogram/saf-t-shelters/
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Thank you so much Meallen, for the link. I've checked it out and it looks good.

Nancy
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Wow, you deserve a medal! And that counselor seems a bit daft. If you have the money you seriously need to get some ' me time'. For you have to think about yourself too, its not just a choice thing, but its a self preservation decision, your health and sanity are at risk.
As regards leaving him, well I suspect you have a lot of guilt in that matter, wedding vows all that 'through hard and good times' etc. But as we live in a time of more free will and choice, we don't have to adhere to those unspoken rules of sticking by your man. But at the same time it sounds like his behaviour is down to his health so HE must be still in there somewhere. In regard to asking for advice, only you know what you will do. But Whatever decision you make Don't feel guilty, no one signs up for treatment like that. And you deserve a life too.
Ditch your counsellor and buy this book instead. Feel the fear and do it anyway. By Susan Jeffers. Its a great book which will give you strength.
Are there any carer support groups nearby? Be strong and good luck.
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You’ve been with your husband for 20 years and from what you’ve described on this forum, the two of you have had/have now a very intense relationship. The way your husband ‘thinks’ has a strong influence on how you think. Since he was very dominant from the beginning then you assumed the more passive role in the relationship. As his thinking ability has disintegrated slowly from illness, your thinking can’t help but be influenced. So you are stuck in the cycle that’s unhealthy mentally and in every other way. Remember that other people such as your therapist are there NOT to tell you what to do but to make suggestions. You have the job of sifting through the ideas you’ve been presented with and then YOU decide what’s best for you and your pets.

You’ve already begun your journey to peace and freedom by inquiring about housing for yourself and beginning to make a plan. You just need accurate information to act upon. So see a lawyer, talk to any senior housing or services center personnel in your area (or somewhere a distance away). To me, my first stop is always my lawyer. Have your questions written down and ready. A lawyer is NOT a therapist. You can do it, stay focused, try to avoid sinking back into that sea of despair!
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Nancy, I am glad you have given us an update. I read through most of the posts, but I'm not sure if anyone has talked to you about Al-anon. You said that your husband is a 40 year sober alcoholic, but does he go to meetings? Do you? A sober alcoholic without the meetings can be worse than a drinking one! My father never went to AA and was worse when he was sober! If in your long relationship with this man you have never tried Al-anon, please do so. Check them out online, see if there are meetings in your town. Living with an alcoholic who is not in recovery (and yes, though sober, he is not in recovery if he is not going to meetings and practicing the steps that keep his sobriety functional and sane), can cause you to get just as crazy as he is. Al-anon teaches you how to detach with love, make rational decisions and work on your own spiritual and mental health. You state that you are a Christian, there is nothing in Al-anon that would go against these beliefs.
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I second what Treeartist said. Look up dry drunk.
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