My 84 year old mother blacked out at the wheel and crashed through my neighborhood fence. No one was hurt but she has now gone out and bought a new Mercedes so she can drive again. I am so against this and not sure what to do or say.
Report her to the DMV and her doctor and request that her license be taken away as she is not only a danger to herself but to others as well. Next time she's not going to be so lucky and innocent people that were at the wrong place at the wrong time are the ones that are going to suffer and possibly even be killed. Do whatever you have to to stop this from happening.
Why did mom black out? Normally, in such a case, the person is medically PROHIBITED from driving for a 6 month period. My nephew blacked out last summer at a festival, was taken to the hospital where he was diagnosed as having had a seizure due to dehydration, which automatically carries with it a 6 month driving prohibition.
If your mother is going against a medical directive and driving unsafely, I'd DISABLE her new car if I were you. Hide her keys. Take out the spark plugs, for instance. She'll have it checked out and fixed, then you do it again. And again, until the message sinks in that she's not going to be driving her car again. Period.
Go ahead & report her to the DMV & her doctor, etc. I just happen to be one of those people who believe that it won't do a darn thing to keep an elder off the road if they're hellbent on driving. Your mother should be scared witless to get behind the wheel again after such an incident, yet here she went out and bought a new and expensive car instead! You tell me if a report to the DMV or her doctor will make any difference to her driving habits? If so, great, your problem is solved without further ado. If not, take my advice above.
I would venture to guess there is some level of cognitive impairment going on with your mom. Because anyone in her right mind would NOT go out and purchase a new Mercedes so she can drive again after suffering a black out and crashing through a neighborhood fence! As an example, my father was around 87 or so when he had 3 very minor fender benders in supermarket parking lots in FL. He realized at that point he had no business behind the wheel of a car anymore and surrendered his keys. He called my daughter up and told her to drive down to FL to pick up his car, he was gifting it to her. Had he been suffering from cognitive impairment, he probably would have continued driving or gone out and bought himself a new car instead of having the minor fender damage fixed.
Get the keys away from your mother, she is a menace to the road.
An elderly woman drove through the hair salon that I go to.
This incident was not long after a hurricane and I assumed the broken glass windows were from the storm.
I found out that the damage wasn’t from the storm. It was from a woman who had a seizure and drove into the hair salon. It’s frightening. The customers and stylists ran to get out of the way.
My cousin was shopping at a strip mall. The store fronts are all glass windows. She was at the register paying for her items and a big truck came crashing through the store front. She freaked out.
It was an old man and his wife. They plowed right through the store! He wasn’t having a seizure. Who knows what happened in that case?
Thank you to everyone for the advice. Im new to this site, so hope my answer will be seen by all.
My mother lives in the neighborhood across the street. In this case she was visiting a friend in my neighborhood and crashed on her 1 mile home. She blamed the accident on having to go to the bathroom, then food poisoning then low blood pressure. We never found out the truth because she wouldnt go to the doctor to get checked out. She does have other medical issues, diabetes, low kidney function, high cholesterol, cataracts (that she denies but I heard the eye doctor tell her that), and she recovered from a sepsis 2 years ago!
The other problem with all this, is that I have a sister that refuses to acknowledge that this even happened. In fact, her boyfriend is a cop and he "assessed the scene" so he didnt file a police report. Now I understand that if he filed a report she could have lost her license which my sister was not going to let happen or she would have assist with taking care of my mom.
My mom also has an 82 year old boyfriend who took her to go buy the new car. Ironically, its the same car my sister drives so sure there was some influence in that decision.
I have stressed my thoughts and fears about her not driving to all family and friends but no one takes it seriously. They think its "great" that she is "independent" We are in Florida and the roads are packed with traffic and erratic drivers. This will not end well.
"Now I understand that if he filed a report she could have lost her license which my sister was not going to let happen or she would have assist with taking care of my mom."
What do you do that assists your mom? Sister doesn't do anything? What's the plan when your mother needs in-home care...are YOU the plan?
A similar thing happened to my MIL... she rolled into a stop sign in her neighborhood narrowly missing kids who were getting off the school bus. She kept telling us she blacked out, but in hindsight we realized that she probably didn't remember what happened, not that she blacked out. I took her for a physical afterwards. She had memory loss. She never blacked out again. It is possible she had a TIA. I had to act to take away her van and license.
As her daughter you are in the best position to protect other people and your mother. You can go on the DMV website to anonymously report her as a dangerous driver. They will most likely send a letter out telling her she needs to come in for a retest (usually vision, at the minimum). No one should remind her or take her to get this done. Just let her license lapse, then figure out how to keep her away from vehicles.
IMHO the right thing to do is to disable that car. I had to have the battery disconnected in my mom's car. It is only a matter of time until your mother crashes through a pedestrian in crosswalk or store front, instead of that fence. Your mother is absolutely going to drive until she hurts someone or herself. Certainly she should be medically evaluated. But the important thing is to prevent serious injury or death. God forbid she kills someone and both she and you will have to live with that. You said that you are so against the current situation. Listen to your gut instincts on this.
You first need to find the reason for her blacking out to begin with. She should be assessed by her physician to determine causation. At that point he will be able to determine if she’s still capable of holding a drivers license. If she’s not capable the physician is required to notify the DMV
Hello, sorry to hear this happened to you mom. It's obviously very dangerous and I feel your concern for your mom and others.
I think firstly you need to get her checked properly, to find the underlying cause of the blackouts.
Are you able to talk to her and tell her if she continues to drive, you will inform the DMV? inform the DMV, tell them, your mom is not fit to drive and you are worried about her and other people getting hurt.
It's going to be far worse if she injures herself or someone else or does something even worse I dread to think it.
Maybe you can compromise and say stop for a the short-term and if she is ok after 6 months with no further blackouts, with doctors sign-off, then she can try again for only short trips.
It's seems urgent to take action, before she hurts herself or others.
Yes, a very bad idea, but likely not her first, and as you said, not a whole lot you can do about it. Was any reason for the blackout ever come to? Both my Mom in her 80s and my brother in his 80s quit driving after accidents, in the first case not serious except to the line of trees she mowed down in a nursery, and in the second case very serious indeed and the beginning of his diagnosis as early Lewy's Dementia. I gave up my license in my early 70s because I had never been a specially good driver, and had not driven for years after a move to hilly SF. Was not easy to do, but needed to be done.
Next time she's not going to be so lucky and innocent people that were at the wrong place at the wrong time are the ones that are going to suffer and possibly even be killed.
Do whatever you have to to stop this from happening.
If your mother is going against a medical directive and driving unsafely, I'd DISABLE her new car if I were you. Hide her keys. Take out the spark plugs, for instance. She'll have it checked out and fixed, then you do it again. And again, until the message sinks in that she's not going to be driving her car again. Period.
Go ahead & report her to the DMV & her doctor, etc. I just happen to be one of those people who believe that it won't do a darn thing to keep an elder off the road if they're hellbent on driving. Your mother should be scared witless to get behind the wheel again after such an incident, yet here she went out and bought a new and expensive car instead! You tell me if a report to the DMV or her doctor will make any difference to her driving habits? If so, great, your problem is solved without further ado. If not, take my advice above.
I would venture to guess there is some level of cognitive impairment going on with your mom. Because anyone in her right mind would NOT go out and purchase a new Mercedes so she can drive again after suffering a black out and crashing through a neighborhood fence! As an example, my father was around 87 or so when he had 3 very minor fender benders in supermarket parking lots in FL. He realized at that point he had no business behind the wheel of a car anymore and surrendered his keys. He called my daughter up and told her to drive down to FL to pick up his car, he was gifting it to her. Had he been suffering from cognitive impairment, he probably would have continued driving or gone out and bought himself a new car instead of having the minor fender damage fixed.
Get the keys away from your mother, she is a menace to the road.
Best of luck.
This incident was not long after a hurricane and I assumed the broken glass windows were from the storm.
I found out that the damage wasn’t from the storm. It was from a woman who had a seizure and drove into the hair salon. It’s frightening. The customers and stylists ran to get out of the way.
My cousin was shopping at a strip mall. The store fronts are all glass windows. She was at the register paying for her items and a big truck came crashing through the store front. She freaked out.
It was an old man and his wife. They plowed right through the store! He wasn’t having a seizure. Who knows what happened in that case?
My mother lives in the neighborhood across the street. In this case she was visiting a friend in my neighborhood and crashed on her 1 mile home. She blamed the accident on having to go to the bathroom, then food poisoning then low blood pressure. We never found out the truth because she wouldnt go to the doctor to get checked out. She does have other medical issues, diabetes, low kidney function, high cholesterol, cataracts (that she denies but I heard the eye doctor tell her that), and she recovered from a sepsis 2 years ago!
The other problem with all this, is that I have a sister that refuses to acknowledge that this even happened. In fact, her boyfriend is a cop and he "assessed the scene" so he didnt file a police report. Now I understand that if he filed a report she could have lost her license which my sister was not going to let happen or she would have assist with taking care of my mom.
My mom also has an 82 year old boyfriend who took her to go buy the new car. Ironically, its the same car my sister drives so sure there was some influence in that decision.
I have stressed my thoughts and fears about her not driving to all family and friends but no one takes it seriously. They think its "great" that she is "independent" We are in Florida and the roads are packed with traffic and erratic drivers. This will not end well.
What do you do that assists your mom? Sister doesn't do anything? What's the plan when your mother needs in-home care...are YOU the plan?
As her daughter you are in the best position to protect other people and your mother. You can go on the DMV website to anonymously report her as a dangerous driver. They will most likely send a letter out telling her she needs to come in for a retest (usually vision, at the minimum). No one should remind her or take her to get this done. Just let her license lapse, then figure out how to keep her away from vehicles.
I think firstly you need to get her checked properly, to find the underlying cause of the blackouts.
Are you able to talk to her and tell her if she continues to drive, you will inform the DMV? inform the DMV, tell them, your mom is not fit to drive and you are worried about her and other people getting hurt.
It's going to be far worse if she injures herself or someone else or does something even worse I dread to think it.
Maybe you can compromise and say stop for a the short-term and if she is ok after 6 months with no further blackouts, with doctors sign-off, then she can try again for only short trips.
It's seems urgent to take action, before she hurts herself or others.
Please let us know how it ends up.
Was any reason for the blackout ever come to?
Both my Mom in her 80s and my brother in his 80s quit driving after accidents, in the first case not serious except to the line of trees she mowed down in a nursery, and in the second case very serious indeed and the beginning of his diagnosis as early Lewy's Dementia. I gave up my license in my early 70s because I had never been a specially good driver, and had not driven for years after a move to hilly SF. Was not easy to do, but needed to be done.
You should see how bad some of the drivers here drive! They end up destroying their cars trying to plow through some of our crappy streets.