Hi there. I am the only one I know of that is fighting an uphill battle to get INTO the nursing home! I am 74 years old and my wonderful husband is in there with COPD and I need to be with him. We have been married a little over 20 years and he has been there since November. He is my soulmate.
I have no children, he has three boys who all say we 'do' belong together. It's not the finances that are the problem, I have to be hit by a MACK TRUCK to get in there. I am Christian also and does it not say in the bible 'Let no man
separate what God has joined?? I need to NEED nursing care, and I understand that. But he has had two falls since he's been there and I could have prevented them. He's also suffering from anoxia because his oxygen doesn't stay on right and I could watch that. What am I going to do??
I'm sorry you're in such a position, but I don't wish you to 'have a NEED' to go into a Skilled Nursing Facility simply so you two can be together. Wishing sickness or mobility issues upon yourself isn't really a good idea, no matter how noble the reason.
Best of luck to both you and your hubby.
Or maybe he’s telling you to bring your husband home. The cost of at home care will likely be no more than paying for you and your husband’s NH care.
Maybe God is gifting you an opportunity to rethink your interpretation of Christian. Playing the Bible card to get what you think you’re entitled to smacks of desperate phony piety (that’s also transparent and self-defeating). No one dissolved your union. The nursing home didn’t force your husband to be admitted or force you to agree to their terms.
Is your husband in a single room? I was thinking that if you ask the nursing home if you could stay overnight for a couple of days then you may find it too exhausting for yourself to deal with the commotion and sounds of a nursing home on a 24 hours basis. I know when I spent the night with my Mom, I slept in a reclining chair, I was constantly waking up to unfamiliar sounds. I was so zoned out, I had to go home.
And, heaven forbid you should need to be in a hospital, and later go to rehab, you would be sent to whatever nursing home that has an open bed. It may not be the nursing home where your husband is staying.
Be with hubby during the day, but go home to recharge yourself so you can be ready for the next day.
https://www.essentialcaregiverscoalition.org/feed?fbclid=IwAR35TOCx3kiuNfDXjYRx1dxg9UT1zqtcnfTgpJFueSUMXiwRQNu5LHUALTk
The group below is specific to my state, South Carolina. There are similar groups for many of the states and you may find one for yours if you search on Google.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/315279832983350
It sounds like you would like to be a "patient" in a nursing home with your husband. Unless you "qualify" by Medicare standards they could only allow you to be a patient if you can afford to be private pay. The few times my husband was a patient in a SNF it was for rehab and I did stay 24/7 to help him except for quick trips home and it was allowed in a private room. It is very draining and hard but I was allowed to be there.
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