My 97-year-old mother has early signs of dementia and I was wondering: When she talks about our deceased family members as if they're still alive....should I tell her they're no longer living?
This is not early Alzheimer's. She already has a full blown dementia. Forget about trying to explain or to reason with her. It will be a total waste. Let her think whatever she wants without interference. He brain is already disconnected from reality. Nothing will fix it.
This is going to happen more and more. In our family we use either redirection of the conversation, or distraction or we go along with it by giving a brief acknowledgement (nodding head), then do something else. The challenge is to go along with whatever keeps them in a calm state because dementia dimishes their ability to do this for themselves.
My MIL is in LTC with short-term memory loss and mild/moderate dementia. She often asks where her (deceased) husband is. We used to tell her the truth but then she would mourn every time and we want to spare her of that. So now we tell her he's doing fine in another facility and he'll visit soon. This satisfies her and we move on with out visit.
Just go along with her stories. She's living in the past because the present is confusing to her. She can't remember what has happened presently. It gets easier to go along. At first it seems the truth should be told, but just remember, it's her truth and as long as she is not in danger from her imaginings, it will help her if you too converse as if the family members are still alive. Enjoy the stories.
Well said Artistdaughter. When dealing with anyone with any kind of mental decline it's always best to just meet them where they are at, and if that is in the past, well like you said, just go along with whatever she's saying and enjoy the stories.
Her thinking is no longer based on what we consider facts, so let her talk as she likes, using her own facts as she perceives them.
My MIL is in LTC with short-term memory loss and mild/moderate dementia. She often asks where her (deceased) husband is. We used to tell her the truth but then she would mourn every time and we want to spare her of that. So now we tell her he's doing fine in another facility and he'll visit soon. This satisfies her and we move on with out visit.