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This is often a problem for people with dementia. Does your mom have some dementia symptoms? Vascular dementia comes to mind because of the stroke. However, she just may feel they can't help her. She may be depressed which is fairly common after a stroke. This, of course, just makes it even more important for her to see a doctor. Is there some issue unrelated to her stroke you can get her in for? Once she is in the office, the doctor can take over. You can tell her this is a favor to you because you love her - but you've likely tried that. Does she have a good friend in her generation who can help talk her into at least a checkup? I know it's tough. You aren't alone. Hopefully, others will chime in and give their solutions. Take care, Carol
Hi, yes, I read that article. Unfortunately, it addresses elders who refuse to see a new doctor, but who will still see their regular doctor. My mother won't go at all. Thanks for the input.
Hi, Carol, thank you for your input. Yes, she has dementia issues. And I've given her all sorts of reasons to go, but she just refuses. My parents have no friends of their generation left, and they don't get out at all. In fact, the last time they came to my house was Thanksgiving 2010. I think Mother is aware of and embarrassed by her deficiencies, so she just won't go out. I'm trying to think of a bribe. :)
Just wanted to post an update. My mother received a reminder card in the mail from her ophthalmologist (she has glaucoma) for an appointment she scheduled six months ago. There was no argument as to whether or not she would go, and we successfully kept that appointment. So I called her primary care physician's office and asked if they would please schedule an appointment for her and send her a card. They did, and her appointment is scheduled for next Friday. It's on her calendar, and we're planning on going. It seems that if she gets it in writing from the doctor, then she feels obligated to go. I hope we keep the appt! Thought I'd pass this along for anyone who might encounter the same difficulty. :)
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
She may be depressed which is fairly common after a stroke. This, of course, just makes it even more important for her to see a doctor. Is there some issue unrelated to her stroke you can get her in for? Once she is in the office, the doctor can take over.
You can tell her this is a favor to you because you love her - but you've likely tried that. Does she have a good friend in her generation who can help talk her into at least a checkup? I know it's tough. You aren't alone. Hopefully, others will chime in and give their solutions.
Take care,
Carol
There is an article written by AgingCare.com Editor that was already posted in our community. We thought this might answer your caregiving question.
What Do I Do if My Parent Refuses to Go to The Doctor?
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/What-To-Do-If-Your-Aging-Parent-Refuses-To-Go-To-The-Doctor-133384.htm
We hope this helps. Please let us know if you need anything else and we look forward to seeing more questions and discussions from you.
Thank you,
Karie H.
The AgingCare.com Team