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My "epiphany" came when my wife passed away and I stopped drinking. The doctors, happy as pigs in slop, believed their medical interventions were the reason for my dramatically improved health and continued to prescribe pumps which I collected and eventually donated. My point? If your mom quits smoking (in my book "slow suicide"), she'll need less oxygen at night and nebulizer treatments. Unfortunately, smoking is possibly the only thing that gives her pleasure; so it'll be extremely difficult for her to give them up. But if you reduce the harm, everything else, in time, will fall into place. She might then be inclined, with your loving nudges of course, to get out of bed more often to discover or re-discover other pleasurable things that can replace smoking, and eventually rejoin humanity.
What I'm trying to say here is don't let her be but give her some space. Don't give up so easily and don't let her give up either. Try some talk therapy like my sons did with me, as it sounds like she she's on the pity pot for reasons that aren't clear to you. Unless there's a physical and mental impairment, she needs to get out of the house if only for 1-2 hours a day; and so do you. The exercise will do her good, even if you have to carry or wheel her all over the neighborhood. Remember, you have a right to be happy every day; even if it's for 5 minutes.
old and frail, some are depressed......And some are perfectly happy to be by themselves. We have to decide first WHY they are staying in bed. If they are frail, then sitting with them is a sweet idea. If they are depressed, maybe a doctor can help them with medication. I'm trying to say we have to look carefully at our parents and figure out the best we can.