Mom has neuralgia pain, cataracts, hearing problems but she insists she can see and hear and pops allieve to ease her pain. Also dental problems but refuses to go to a dentist. She did have her annual physical and told the doctor nothing was wrong with her. In bed at night she sees a face of a man who she cannot identify then throws shoes at the image and then she claims she doesn't see it anymore. She is sleep deprived because when I look at her face she looks tired. She claims she can sleep during the day if she wants to and that there is no problems with her. How should I handle something like this?
If she is seeing a face that isn't there, she has some very serious issues that need to be addressed. It could be medication reactions (even too many OTC pills). It could be dementia. Or it could be another mental illness. You are right to be concerned.
Since she won't listen to you, I would try a third party. Elders often brush off their adult children, but will listen to a friend. She needs to see a psychiatrist and/or neurologist (as you know). It's how to get her there - one of the most frustrating issues of all. Please do try the third party option. Let us know how you do.
Carol
Ya just gotta laugh to keep from crying!
For minor ailments, I take to the web and look at natural treatments. I have had good success with these. I bought a great naturopathic book that is organized alphabetically by illness. It is my medical "bible." Western doctors are still being taught to "cure" rather than "prevent" illness. Also, they do not want to be bothered with time-consuming discussions about minor ailments or how to stay healthy. They would rather have you wait until you are seriously ill before you come to them for a "cure" (ie: surgery or pills). Mom kept having problems with constipation and water retention. Her doc's solution was, of course, prescriptions or OTC pills that work for awhile then stop working all together. So I got out my book, made changes to her diet, added a few things to her diet, and she has not had problems since. I tell her jokingly that I am going to send her my "bill" to which she replies, "put it on the cuff." Ya' gotta' chuckle once and awhile.
My mom is also in the middle of extensive dental work because her former dentist, in the state where she lived, figured that she was old and didn't need to go through more dental work. This has come back to haunt her because she needs everything now.
Whenever you visit a doctor you have to advocate for yourself (or have someone with you who can.) I take a list of concerns with me and have the doctor address them individually. If I get the vibe that they are rushing mom, do not want to deal with seniors, or want to push unnecessary prescriptions on her, I shop for a new doc. Mom's new doc is a geriatric specialist with a very calm demeanor - I really like him. There are many good ones out there - you just have to do a little foot work.