I do get respite care to come in. I don’t feel like he is ready for AL or a NH. His body is still in fair shape.
i have a rare disease called Addison’s Disease & I’m not supposed to be around stress. I have no family nearby. I’ve had to call the cops twice. I’m scared he will hurt me one of these days.
A consultation with a NAELA certified elder attorney could help you navigate how to protect your income as a community spouse. Just getting the ground work done might give you a degree of comfort. You would not have so much to do when the time comes.
Do you have POA for him? Be sure to talk to his doctor about this behavior. He might benefit from a review of his medication.
Dont just wait for the behavior to escalate. Make a well thought out plan for when you are ready. There will never be an easier time to get this done.
There is no shame in this and you should feel no guilt. You aren’t doing this because you are a terrible person and you hate him. You’re doing it because it’s time and this is what he needs.
AL and NH isn't just when the body fails, but the mind also. It sounds like you could be in some level of danger, even if he would never intentionally, in his right mind, want to hurt you.
Caregivers do need to try to take care of themselves too. Your disease may progress due to the negative, stressful conditions you appear to be living in.
He is a doctor himself and won't go to a doctor. He only trusts one doctor and that is an infectious disease doctor who he thinks saved his life years ago. He has no need to go to this doctor and this doctor see's him out of respect to my husband.
I know Caregivers who don't take care of themselves bite the dust too soon so I'm trying to find someone to help me out and tell me what to do.
Thank you for your input.