End of Life. How long can this go on?

I’m sorry you’re experiencing this with your mom. My mother lived four years following a devastating stroke that took every physical ability. The last month she fell into a deep sleep, stopped communicating, and stopped receiving food. She lived for three full weeks after her last nutrition, and died quietly and alone. It changed my thoughts on the importance of having a loved one with a person when they die. It showed me, happening again years later when I was there when my dad died, that death is very much a solo journey. I don’t believe it’s important to be there for “the moment” Our wise hospice nurse told me with my dad, the day before he died, “your dad has already gone, his body just hasn’t quite gotten the message” Very accurate. It’s beyond sad to see a beloved parent go, but knowing they’re at peace starts the healing. I wish you rest and peace

Is someone always with mom, like a loved one? The reason I ask is that sometimes a person waits to depart until they're alone. Or until someone they've been waiting to see arrives to say goodbye.

My father hadn't had any food or liquids for over 10 days when he was on hospice, and was in a coma in bed. My son decided to push up his wedding and get married in dad's AL apartment on about the 12th day of his coma. I set up the chairs for the ceremony and brought in the cake. As soon as the bride and groom walked up to the chaplain, dad opened his eyes and smiled! We were blown away! We all kissed him and hugged him, my son was crying, it was quite a moment. Dad stayed awake watching the entire ceremony smiling. As soon as it was over, he closed his eyes once again. He passed the next day. Dad was waiting to see his only grandchild get married. We thought he couldn't hear us either since he was in a coma, but he sure could......because he knew when and where my son was getting married!

People snicker at the thought of folks having control over when they pass. I don't, because I witnessed dad's total control over the day he chose to transition.

Thank you. The hospice nurses were giving us some predictions as to timing in the beginning . They kept saying goodbye when their shift is over and then being astounded to see her when they came back to work a day or two later. My mom was always a very independent, strong woman who did everything on her own terms, and I guess she is handling end of life the same way.

Only God knows the day and time that He'll take your mother Home, so just try best you can to be there for her and leave nothing left unsaid.
Even though she may be unconscious now, it is said that the hearing is the last sense to go, so keep talking to her.
My late husband went 41 days with no food and over 25 days with no drink, except for liquid from his fentanyl pain pump.
Hospice told me that my husband would be dead in 3 days and it took him 41 days to die.
So again, only God knows.
Be grateful that she is peaceful now and not in pain, as everyone is not so fortunate to have their loved one peaceful and pain free at the end.(myself included)
God bless you.

My Mom was about 2 weeks. She would not get out of bed, closed her eyes and never opened them again. She was actively dying.

Your Mom is being kept comfortable and pain free. For me, I and my nephew visited and left at 1:30pm, Mom was declared at I:50pm.

‘You just want this nightmare to be over for her’, but it probably isn’t a nightmare for her - ‘She seems peaceful now’. The nightmare is really for you, and perhaps others in the family. If you can accept this difficult time, it may help you to get through it more easily. Best wishes.

Are you saying that she is not taking fluids of any kind, including IV fluids? If that's true she has already gone father than anyone I have seen without food OR fluid. Do know that even very minimal amounts of fluid can add days. The mottling comes toward the end, tho usually coolness as well.
I am sorry. As I am certain all in Hospice let you know, the end is coming. No one really can predict when and this is why they hesitate to try.
I am very sorry. My condolences to you all and I am thankful she is being kept at rest and peace.

If the professinal hospice nurses don't know, how can we venture a guess? Everyone is different. My MIL was put on hospice when she got the original covid in her LTC facility. We gathered everyone to say goodbye to her. Then, after 4 weeks she totally recovered. I'm pretty sure this isn't how it's going to be for your Mom, but just saying no one can read into the future with accuracy. I'm so sorry for this distressing situation, but glad she is receiving good care and that you're there for her.