I've now had my mom with us for 9 almost 10 months. I’ve taken her to a couple different drs saying she passes the test and may not have dementia. She definitely has memory loss and forgetful but every month like clockwork she has a time frame between the 17-20th of the month that she wants to discuss why she hates it here and on and on. Each time getting worse. This past week she had a half hour conversation with the fed ex lady accusing me of putting her in a hole, draining her money (have all the proof of what money has been spent which is minimal with receipts and documentation as lawyer suggested). If she doesn’t have dementia what would cause her to have these episodes where she is unrealistically mean and mentally abusive. I did tell her yesterday I would show her on her bank statements and receipts what was used and the bank said they can provide video of her pulling cash out. But if this isn’t a disorder or disease how do I find her help? I can’t do this every month it’s driving me crazy. Could it be bipolar or a mental illness not dementia. I just need a direction. Please help
That said, your mother is exhibiting typical signs OF dementia by accusing you and everybody of putting her in a hole, stealing her $$, and confabulating stories that aren't true. Watch some videos by Teepa Snow that cxmoody gave you a link to, and Google "Teepa Snow videos" if the link doesn't work for you. Go to Alzheimers.org to read up on the subject as well. Look into Memory Care Assisted Living Facilities *ALFs* if your mother gets to be too much for you to handle at home. My mother has advanced dementia and there is no medicine that helps her.......in fact, they all WORSEN her symptoms rather than help them.
Wishing you the best of luck accepting the dementia diagnosis and learning to deal with the difficult behaviors that accompany it.
Why does your mother live with you? What are the long-range plans for her care? Are you going to eventually become her 24/7/365 caregiver?
What does your sister do to help? Are there other siblings?
But anyway - Nikiniki, where was your mother living before a) and what are her options now b)?
I think I remember igloo advising someone once about shadows. That could have something to do with the moon and light in the room. I can’t remember for sure but I think it was Lewy Body dementia.
Anything different each month at that time? UTI flare up? Regular call from a relative that causes stress/feelings? A full moon? Sounds crazy, but hospital ERs say things do get worse...
Update. We took her to her appointment yesterday. I told her she had her Dr appointment and took her to lunch and was in pretty good spirits before appointment. She had forgotten it was the mental health Dr by the time we pulled up I was scared she wasn’t going to go in. But we made it in and she was really liked the Dr. we walked in and she had me stay for the 1st bit of appointment. She asked mom a few questions and mom started getting defensive and tried to push it my direction so I could answer the questions but I just said the appointment is for you and she needs to hear from you. She later asked me a few questions to clear a few things up but in the end I left and they talked and tested her and when I came back in she told me she had cognitive dementia and gave her a couple meds to help and some ideas of things to do to help slow it down. Reading, bathing, interacting etc. Now to read up on all this to understand what is heading my way and know how to better help her. Thank you for all your help.
So, mom HAS been diagnosed with dementia. Are you now doubting that that is the case? It sure sounds like dementia to me.
Yes, she could have a mental illness that includes delusions but the timing would still be a puzzle. I would try to record her on your cell phone if you have that capability then you could share that with her doctor. It could be something very simple that triggers her. I hope you can figure it out soon for both your sakes.
https://youtu.be/WARI6N-g-0Y
It is on determining dementia.
When was her last bloodwork and urine checked? If not recently I would make sure to have both those done as well as reach out to a neuro/neuropsychiatrist or geriatrician.
My mom does not have dementia but has a lot of cognitive issues from her stroke. UTI can bring on very strange behaviors in older/elder people as can electrolyte imbalances - and a host of additional things including depression and other mental health issues.
Many here who have experienced dementia can probably give better advice pertaining to the waxing and waning in the early stages.
wishing you some answers 🦋