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Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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There is exercise that he can do, even in a chair. But, as far as you making him - you can't. I would take him to rehab, if he qualifies. They are experts at getting people up and moving.
Check with his doc too about how bad the heart and COPD are and whether anything could be done to improve that...maybe he needs a little more oxygen or a different medicine and he'd feel better and have a little more energy than he does.
Babsie, I have the same question that Eyerishlass has. Why do you want to tell him that his memory is getting worse? Once you have thought through the reason, you may decide not to do it, or you may see a logical way to do it.
My mom knows she has "memory problems." We don't use the word dementia with her. There are times when it seems appropriate to say to her "your memory seems a little worse today" when getting her to accept something we are doing for her. My husband was quite aware that he had dementia and sometimes he would be the one to say "my memory is really bad today!" Or when he was frustrated I would hug him and say, "Lewy is being particularly nasty today. But it's OK. I'll keep you safe today, and by tomorrow maybe Lewy will leave you alone." (He had Lewy Body Dementia, which fluctuates greatly from day to day.)
So I can understand that there may be some reasons and some occasions when gently agreeing or pointing out that memory is worse, I think it is important for you to identify why you want to do it. That may guide the "how-to" part of it.
Have you asked him to walk with you, to keep you company? Does he have a rollalator so he can sit down when he tires? Do you have a video of simple exercises you could do together? Has he had a few sessions with a PT?
Walking and other exercise would be good for him on all levels. You love him. You want good things for him. He has to want that, too. Or he has to be willing to do some things out of love for you. You can encourage, but I don't know of anything you can do to make him take care of himself.
It is hard to watch our loved ones not taking good care of themselves. Do what you can to encourage him, but accept that you don't have control over it.
I'm not sure if he needs to be reminded too often. But it would be easier to include yourself as needing reminders. He would then feel like he isn't the only one. I know how frustrating it is, because my husbands asks the same question over and over. He can't remember that tomorrow is Easter and that we'll have many family members over. It is irritating, but it is best to be positive. marymember
If your husband doesn't want to take a walk or exercise there's nothing you can do to make him. I'm sure he knows the benefit of doing these things and if he chooses not to do them you can't force him.
As far as how to explain to him that his memory is getting worse, why do you need to explain it to him when he probably won't remember that you explained it to him? If you have to tell him more than once it does no good to tell him over and over. It probably just agitates him. Why does he need to be told more than once? There's nothing he can do about it, nothing you can do about it. Take the path of least resistance and give up on trying to force things on him. It'll make your life easier as well.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
My mom knows she has "memory problems." We don't use the word dementia with her. There are times when it seems appropriate to say to her "your memory seems a little worse today" when getting her to accept something we are doing for her. My husband was quite aware that he had dementia and sometimes he would be the one to say "my memory is really bad today!" Or when he was frustrated I would hug him and say, "Lewy is being particularly nasty today. But it's OK. I'll keep you safe today, and by tomorrow maybe Lewy will leave you alone." (He had Lewy Body Dementia, which fluctuates greatly from day to day.)
So I can understand that there may be some reasons and some occasions when gently agreeing or pointing out that memory is worse, I think it is important for you to identify why you want to do it. That may guide the "how-to" part of it.
Have you asked him to walk with you, to keep you company? Does he have a rollalator so he can sit down when he tires? Do you have a video of simple exercises you could do together? Has he had a few sessions with a PT?
Walking and other exercise would be good for him on all levels. You love him. You want good things for him. He has to want that, too. Or he has to be willing to do some things out of love for you. You can encourage, but I don't know of anything you can do to make him take care of himself.
It is hard to watch our loved ones not taking good care of themselves. Do what you can to encourage him, but accept that you don't have control over it.
As far as how to explain to him that his memory is getting worse, why do you need to explain it to him when he probably won't remember that you explained it to him? If you have to tell him more than once it does no good to tell him over and over. It probably just agitates him. Why does he need to be told more than once? There's nothing he can do about it, nothing you can do about it. Take the path of least resistance and give up on trying to force things on him. It'll make your life easier as well.