My 85 year old mother had a stroke on 3/16. She went into the hospital that day, and thankfully there wasn't too much brain damage. She was kept there 4 days, released into short-term rehab on the 19th. When she was discharged from the hospital, she weighed 90 lbs. She's been extremely thin for years now, but at the doctor's the week earlier, she was 92 lbs. She's 5' 3" tall.
So she's been in rehab two weeks, and today I find out - not from the rehab itself, but from the RN at the assisted living community mom hopes to move into after rehab, who was there to evaluate her - that she is now 82 lbs.! She's unhappy there, doesn't like the food, and is supposedly a "choking risk," so is on a soft diet. There's no evidence that she's ever choked, either at rehab or at the hospital. The rehab's answer is to give her Ensure, which she hates and won't drink.
I'm in totally new territory with caring for my mother, the stroke, rehab. I'm 300 miles away. My father died on Feb. 16th; and after 54 years of marriage, my mother is in despair. That said, she tells me she's hungry all the time, but just doesn't like the food. But a 10% weight loss in two weeks sounds like starvation to me.
I'd appreciate any perspective more experienced caregivers can provide. Right now I'm so angry at the rehab I can't think straight, but don't know if I'm overreacting. I am going to call her regular doctor and tell her about the weight loss.
Is there an issue after the stroke with her swallowing? It sounds like you need someone there to evaluate the situation and if your mom is capable of swallowing to make sure she gets regular food that they serve or have a service set up to deliver food to her there. Food and nutrition are important.
Another possibility is that food is making her nauseous, and she's just not communicating that. When my mom was sick once and wouldn't eat, her response was "I feel funny when I eat." I translated that to "nauseous," they gave her a med for it, and she started eating again.
Being far away, either you or another family member could travel there to be with her or could see if you could hire someone to be with her. It is hard to assume anything without having someone physically sit with your mom to see what exactly is going on.
Recently, and another totally different situation to yours, but my mom dropped a lot of weight. She was living alone and just didn't recognize it was time to eat and wasn't "with it" enough to figure out what to eat. She is now living with me and eats when she's supposed to and what she's supposed to because she realizes it's meal time in that the rest of us sit down to eat and fill our plates so she does, too.
My point is just that it could be a lot of things. She's in a strange place, maybe scared, maybe depressed, maybe not having her weight carefully watching by these strangers. It could be a lot of things, but you won't know without having someone go review her in-person and get back to you with a report.
My own mother is currently in a short-term rehab center and her appetite is definitely "off." She doesn't like being there, is depressed, plus has been taken off a medication that used to cause her to have a voracious appetite - in fact, she had gained too much weight.
My heart goes out to you and your mom - it's very hard to navigate these waters and to know what's best.
But all the same, if she's hungry but doesn't like the food (I don't blame her, Ensure is disgusting: I wish prescribers were made to drink it before they order it), would it be worth asking for her swallowing to be reassessed?
By all means speak to the rehab staff and question them closely about your mother's care plan; but don't go in all guns blazing, they probably are doing their best and acting correctly. It's early days in your mother's recovery, there's an awful lot going on for her (and for you too) - maybe take a deep breath and slow down.
I'm very sorry for your recent loss of your father, too. You're under terrible strain all round. Is anyone looking after you?
I agree with others, you need to be with your mother and find out more about what's going on with her weight loss (how long?), eating (how much, if anything?), treatment (how are they responding to the weight loss/eating issues, if they are?), and future plans (doc's thoughts, evaluations?) She may be suffering from dimentia or other medical issues. She could be purposely not eating (she's ready to go.). Or, dimentia or her despair from your father's death could cause her thinking and logic to be foggy.
Keep in mind...it is not uncommon today that doctors place patients, especially seniors, in rehab centers/programs for palliative care, not for actual "rehab". And it is also not uncommon that the doc won't tell you that.
Only after you observe your mother's status and her treatment process can you evaluate the situation and make decisions. The lack of eating issue can be heartbreaking, with many twists and turns. I would visit her and see what's going on ASAP.
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