Once Covid is done (could be months) we will have to make some decisions about my dad. This seems to be happening pretty quickly. Last fall he had a 24 MMSE and now he had one 20 and one 22 this week. He's 92 and his memory still comes back sometimes briefly. Anyway, I'm sure every facility is different but I was just wondering if there is a direct relationship between this score and when someone has to be in memory care versus assisted living versus some other residential care sort of set up? He is frail and can't walk far either. Or is it one of those "it depends"things... I know wandering will do it but is just getting lost around the facility considered wandering? He likes this one particular facility but they don't have memory care... just assisted living cottages, residential care, and skilled nursing. I'm thinking that maybe that's not a good idea because it surely means we'll have to move him for memory care. But maybe by the time a person needs memory care they don't know the difference?
I am so incredibly sad. I live far and can't see him often. I seriously want to move there and get a place so I can see him every day... (which my brother and sister in law... not to mention my husband..would hate)
Not one of her friends visited in the 2 years she was there. She made good connections at the IL.
But when she had a stroke, and it took each of us over an hour to reach the hospital, we realized we needed to pick one sibling for her to be within close physical proximity.
2. If there is any chance at all that he would wander away from the facility then he should be placed in Memory Care. Memory Care typically has locked units where Assisted Living does not.
Memory Care also takes the residents out for lunches and other outings so they are not "locked up", there are activities and many have a kitchen area where residents can help them selves to snacks, drinks (if there are no dietary restrictions) and the Memory Care is geared for a variety of levels of care.
If he can not be moved closer to you tour a few near where he lives so you get an idea as to what each one is like. Pick the best 2 and take him for a visit.
I agree whole-heartedly with moving him close to you. I moved my MIL from 15 miles away to 2.5 and even that made a difference. I have 2 very senior aunts in FL and I'm in MN. They currently are receiving agency care in-home, supported by help from relatives. When one of them passes, I will bring the other up here to be close to me.
Also, please choose a facility that has the full continuum of care: LTC to MC to hospice. Same admin/staff, less paperwork, less stress. You don't want to have to go through a search at a distressing time for him and your family, plus there can be waiting lists. May you have peace in your heart and lots of support and help in settling your father.
Your best bet is to have an independent assessment done, either by the local Area Agency on Aging or have on ordered by his doctor. It's based on more than a single test score and includes an assessment of his health and his ability to do activities of daily living (eating, hygiene, toileting) as well as the ability to plan for these (cooking, changing clothing, etc).
Also, why not look at facilities close to where YOU live?