We moved my Father in law in and gave him the master bedroom because he would have his own bathroom, I didnt want my children to get into his stuff considering he would have to share the bathroom with him otherwise, I cook,clean, and do his laundry which he has to have a certain way or he has a fit, manage his medication etc. I quit my job and turned down others to take care of him, now our bills have doubled, my gas bill was almost $400.00 because he keeps turning the heat up, not to mention my grocery bill was $120.00 a week now I spend $200.00 or more. This is frustrating I have applied with the VA for Aid and attendance but wont get it for 8-9 months and that's if he qualifies. What to do???
Good luck,
Carol
Many of us have been in the same situation and the heating and the food bills most definitely do increase. Take care and bless you for all you are doing.
And most importantly, just ignore any posts on here that are not supportive; unfortunately, some just aren't and cannot be understanding of another's plight.
And now you are taking care of your husband. That is the boat I am in. Financially it is not remotely like taking care of a parent.
Sstirlings5's situation is not at all comparable to taking in your BIL and his wife for 8 months. This wll go on indefinitely, until the FIL dies or is too incapacitated to live at home. It could be years. And saving him money at this time will not make his future brighter. What is his money for, if not for taking care of himself in his old age? That is now! Sometimes selfish non-caregiving siblings want to force the caregiving child to do it without compensation so their inheritance will be larger. Personally, I don't think sstirlings5 and her husband should make financial sacrifices in order for there to be a bigger estate to inherit, do you?
Reba, I don't see anything at all in the original post to suggest SS is in this for the money. And how you can see into her heart and conclude she knows what is fair is beyond me. So if she knows what is fair, she is posting this question for ... ???
You did a generous thing taking care of your relatives for a few months "at cost." You are now under a lot of strain taking care of your husband. I hope you are a generous, compassionate person. Setting yourself above others by saying "Don't think I am like you" doesn't go over well here.
ANd for the original questioner: I now take my Dad's ATM card and buy the special grocery items he likes with that card. Every third bag of dog food, he buys. Half the detergent goes on his card because his laundry is more than half of what we gets done... He had expenses before that were so much greater than what he has now. Our heat bill, too, has doubled. I like the idea of getting a consult with an elder care attorney to figure out what can be done to share the burden of him WITH him, without jeopardizing the VA program benefits. Good luck to all of you.
Everyone who posts on this site deserves support and caring; they are not looking for your personal opinions or assumptions. God knows what is in everyone's heart, not you.
My sincere condolences on the death of your husband.
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