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On Xina, you really have your hands full. So many elders still believe in their mind that they can live at home like they did decades ago, my own parents were like that. My Mom also refused caregivers.... even though my Dad felt we did need them.

Do you think her memory was affected from the stroke? Sounds like it was if she keeps calling you repeating, and thinks she can take care of herself. If that is the case, like you said there is no way you can convince her. I would just say to her "maybe tomorrow, Mom".

Seeing a therapist is good, I also go to one. And am on meds to calm me down which I should have done 7 years ago as one's body can only take so much. I spent many a night lying wide awake the whole night because my mind was running in circles. I was just not caregiver material except for the logistical side of caregiving.
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xinabess, let common sense rule. It is perfectly natural for patients to beg to go home and then they are not happy when they get there. Then they focus their complaints on the person closest to them. That does not make you guilty. Sure you regret her decline, but do not accept the guilt. You are doing more than most kids would. You deserve a medal for it.
Medicate her agitation with an Rx from the MD. Firmly but kindly tell her NO about being alone. Keep her number blocked, accept only calls from the caregivers phones. Call her once a day and keep it cheery; as soon as she goes negative, end the call. Your health comes first, remember that.
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Xina, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this turn of events. It's so very painful. I know Been there.

Think of when your kids were 2 or 3. Yes, we explained things to our kids. But we did not expect them to reason with an adult mindset. There were times when you said " it's cold out there. The temperture says you have to wear a coat".

" Sorry mom. The doctors say you have to have someone there 24/7. It's a legal thing. I can't do anything about it".

You hang up. You don't take any more calls that day.

You get her to a neuropsych/neurology team to have her cognitive skills assessed. Antidepressant/antianxiety meds may help.

Crying is de rigeur. I do it almost every time i come home from the nursing home.
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