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Please offer advice on how to handle, this was shown on social media and is so sad for his grandchildren and still living wife who are in the same town, help!

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Thank you everyone for the support and advice! We were able to get the person to take down the humiliating video and Dad has acknowledged he needs help and has made some calls, We will help in follow through. Blessings to all and thank you!
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The purpose of the video was no doubt to shame him and tell others to watch out for him. I would contact the person who posted the footage and explain that he’s not in his right mind. Hopefully they will take the video down. If the video was posted in a Facebook group, you might be able to get the group admin to remove the video. I’m so sorry, social media has enabled people to call out everything and anything under the sun without considering the impact.
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kj1958 Sep 2019
Thank you so much, I am feeling so distraught, I never considered this option, be well and thank you
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Go directly to the garage sale person posting on Facebook, return the items and apologize. Explain that your father has a dementia or Alzheimer's (whatever he has).

Post a Disclaimer on FB stating only in America innocent until proven guilty, elderly man forgot to pay, or something like that. Restitution was (paid, offered and accepted, offered and declined). The intent of the poster does seem mean, or not understanding your father's vulnerabilities.

Shop with him.

Some caregivers carry a card which states: "The person I am with has Alzheimer's", "Thank you for your patience."

If the FB conversation continues, you can state things such as: trial by FB.
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kj1958 Sep 2019
Thank you for the input, we will definitely reach out , but should we speak with him directly about his actions?
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Social media has become SUCH a gigantic nuisance in our society, it's absolutely ridiculous. "As if" your father in law is such a menace to society that he's going to hold up the local bank or rob the next door neighbor at gunpoint.

Hoarding is an anxiety disorder associated with OCD. You say your FIL is very disconnected, so I'd get him to his doctor for a cognition test right away. Perhaps he's suffering from dementia in addition to anxiety, and some medication may help calm him down in general. The first step here is to see what his doctor has to say, and go from there.

I'm so sorry you're all having to deal with this. Too bad the poor old guy wasn't cut a break, huh?
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OK,
So off to the folks with the Gargage Sale and explain, and I hope they are ashamed to have put it on social media without knowing the story here. That's that. Even if they don't, so what. And no one is putting Dad in jail for lifting something at a garage sale. Absent minded as I can be when anxious I am always afraid I will have some blasted can of tuna in my hand and walk out the door with it unpaid for. However, this could be a larger problem at the KMart of the Target. So Dad clearly needs someone with him in store now. Sadly. Or deal with it after it happens. So sorry for what you and he are going through, but Social Media is what it is, which is often enough trash trashing.
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Sorry you live in a town that resorts to establishing this sort of “protection” against petty theft. “Petty” seems to be the right word for this whole incident.

None of you, not your FIL nor any of the family who love him, have reason to be personally embarrassed by this painful incident. You now know that vigilance is required when he is in circumstances that can trigger his urge to “collect”.

It is is a wake up call, and Sendhelp has provided some excellent, empowering suggestions for management.

Now promise yourself to forgive him, and more important, to forgive yourselves. And if you can, forgive the person that may have just been ignorant of the scourge of this disease.

Hopes that you are soon able to put this behind you.
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Are they prosecuting? What was the purpose of the video. He needs help. There must be some underlying reasons, don’t you think? Is this a new behavior?

Best wishes to you and your family.
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kj1958 Sep 2019
I don't believe so, it was more of a shaming for people to know he's around.
It was on a local thief community video. We do not live in the same town and he is lonely, has become a hoarder and refuses any help, all advice is greatly appreciated, we are so sad...thank you
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Gee, why would somebody be so cruel as to punish a whole family this way, with that damn social media? An old guy that steals some piece of junk at their garage sale, should not make them want to ruin him in the neighborhood. I hate that. Everyone knows by now about dimentia & stuff, so they were just being cruel imo.
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He needs to be evaluated.
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kj1958 Sep 2019
not sure how to get him in anywhere, any ideas? we are more than willing to go to him
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