BobbyD10: When my late elderly mother started having trouble taking her community van service for grocery shopping, that's when I had to move in with her from out of state. I full well understood the time constraints with a van full of people. The van driver exclaimed "N is struggling." I wish your father well.
Could someone drive him to the center or would he be happier with an Uber type ride? Maybe he could still take the bus home. Hiring a ride for the morning trip would cost something, but it might be worth the expense if it made life easier for all involved.
If his memory is failing, that would make him uncomfortable navigating public transportation. He may not want to admit it, but imagine what if he got on the wrong bus, or got off at the wrong location? He would naturally be confused and scared.
Can you arrange for a rideshare service to pick him up, or a medical transport, which could be covered by insurance if he qualifies and meets the criteria.
I'm surprised the memory care club(?) whatever that is, doesn't offer a van pick up service. People with cognitive decline should not be out driving or traveling on their own. I would say, rather than try to persuade him to get on the bus, find a ride for him, be it a neighbor, a friend, a volunteer, or a paid ride service.
We have had a few consecutive successful examples of getting on the bus from home. Today he was all excited to see the bus arrive in frontof home and he was on his way. Things are always subject to change and he does seem to prefer some drivers but he likes riding in automobiles and doesn’t have any medical issues preventing him from climbing or going down steps. Thanks for the feedback .
The first day Mom went to Daycare I drove her. Mainly to make sure she got in and settled. The aide took over as soon as we walked in and sat her with a group of woman. My husband stood there making sure she was OK. Me, "come on, its just like leaving a child in Daycare the first time. You give them a hug and kiss and leave".
The second day Mom rode the bus. The driver came to the door And escorted Mom to the bus. Same when he brought her home. She told me she was not riding the bus, I told her yes she was. It gave DH and I some time together from 8am to 3pm. I took my shower after she left.
Is the bus driver waiting for Dad to get on? IMO the driver should be doing the same thing Moms driver did.
One of the ladies in my caregiver support group when her husband was starting to go to the Adult Daycare Center and was to be picked up by their bus, had her son go along with his dad for the first few times until he got used to being picked up. She of course had to drive to the Daycare and then pick up her son, but she said it was worth it as after a few times he was willing to get on the bus himself without his son. Best wishes.
Is this a bus service provided by the memory care center? They will just kind of walk him through this I would think. What does he tell you is concerning him about these trips to the center?
He may not understand what's happening. You might have to take him yourself or have him driven there by someone with whom he's comfortable riding in their car.
It’s at the very beginning so there’s that aspect of trying to understand what is happening. Patience is key by driver but they are also working through a schedule to pick up other members so the window of time isn’t too long for someone to get on bus.
I don’t know that you can convince him . He can not be reasoned with due to dementia . He may also not be comfortable with a bumpy bus ride or with strangers without any familiar people around him .
He typically enjoys rides in automobiles and doesn’t create a problem with riding the bus from the center to his home at the end of the days, just leaving his home to start the day.
If he has dementia this may be an effect of that. Dementia affects executive ability. He may not be resistant as much as he needs additional assistance.
Can you arrange for a rideshare service to pick him up, or a medical transport, which could be covered by insurance if he qualifies and meets the criteria.
I'm surprised the memory care club(?) whatever that is, doesn't offer a van pick up service. People with cognitive decline should not be out driving or traveling on their own.
I would say, rather than try to persuade him to get on the bus, find a ride for him, be it a neighbor, a friend, a volunteer, or a paid ride service.
The second day Mom rode the bus. The driver came to the door And escorted Mom to the bus. Same when he brought her home. She told me she was not riding the bus, I told her yes she was. It gave DH and I some time together from 8am to 3pm. I took my shower after she left.
Is the bus driver waiting for Dad to get on? IMO the driver should be doing the same thing Moms driver did.
She of course had to drive to the Daycare and then pick up her son, but she said it was worth it as after a few times he was willing to get on the bus himself without his son.
Best wishes.
They will just kind of walk him through this I would think.
What does he tell you is concerning him about these trips to the center?
He can not be reasoned with due to dementia . He may also not be comfortable with a bumpy bus ride or with strangers without any familiar people around him .