caring for a mom. have been for 5 years now since father passed. she has melanoma and possible other, but her decision is no more tests. ( 87, 3rd time cancer). BFF just finished with a full year of treatments. stem cell replacement. she has been deemed clean right now. have older siblings. 3hours and 1 1/2 hours away. I am youngest and single. parents were each others best friends. did not have many outside. mom starting leaning on me. I was ok with it when she was much more mobile. but now it is wearing me out. I get angry at how I feel. I know I shouldn't. work has FMLA but I do not have the financial means to take any time off. everyone needs from me. work, home, friend. I am trying to get all my bills paid off. so I have very little money left for "fun" I am trying to take a children lit class via mail. but that is getting "chorefull." am I crazy? is it too much to ask to want someone to care for me? to send me a card or flowers or take me out to lunch? all my friends at work have left for other jobs. getting together has become more difficult. is it separation anxiety?
She wants you to be happy and progressing, not being miserable and stuck.
Have a heart to heart with her. Forget about the siblings. However, if she is at the place where she is only thinking of herself and will not consider your needs, then just do what you need to for yourself because maybe she is in reverse focus. Back to the belly button. That 's life. Take care of yourself:) xo
Since you are a one person show, I would use some money to hire home health aides so you factor in time for yourself including meeting your friend.
If your sleep is interrupted, there is nothing wrong with hiring someone to care for mom while you get some uninterrupted sleep---it is money well spent.
Taking time for yourself is hard emotionally but it will make you feel better and you will be a better caregiver.
See if you can get a good caregiver in your home regularly for at least half a day on your weekend off from work. If you can afford more coverage--go for it.
Ask your church if they have anyone who could visit for short periods with your mom for the short runs to stores etc. However, get a calendar and schedule time for yourself, use an agency if needed until you can find someone in the area who works independently as a caregiver.
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