I can’t live with myself. My mum has been stressing me out and I kept saying she had dementia and told everyone she was driving me mad. I don’t know if I have been in denial, but she has been taken to the hospital and it’s been confirmed. She has dementia and has went downhill rapidly. I am now looking at care for her. I am crying myself to sleep as I feel guilty at all the times. I called her heartless and got cross with her. I work full time and I’m struggling with my job and with the guilt. I wish I could turn the clock back and was kinder to her. Has anyone else experienced this?
That would be called normal.
But now you know. You can change your G word from guilt to grief.
Meet with the social worker. You sound to be quite depressed. Apparently you and Mom are already living with one another? And I get the impression that hasn't been going well for either of you.
Mom may require placement. You will be able to get on with your life, visit and support her.
We are not all cut out for in home care. I certainly am not and I was a NURSE all my career. I could never do 24/7 care.
See a Social Worker at the hospital on Monday and work with her on discharge planning. Consider seeing your own MD for some help with anxiety and depression you may be feeling. You may need help forming a bridge over the worst of this flood.
I sure wish you good luck.
Remember, you aren't God. You aren't perfect. You are flawed. Join our club.
Don't assume the worst of people -- they rarely do what they do to hurt us intentionally. That goes for you, too -- you didn't do it to hurt her intentionally -- and now you can have a bit of time to make peace in your heart while loving on your mama.