My 91 yr old father-in-law over the past year has shown significant signs that his ability to drive safely is diminishing. He will frequently get lost, disorientated, and drives very slowly amongst traffic. His family has taken his car away, he is very upset and understandably so but his ability to drive a car safely and the safety to the public is a big concern. He has reacted strongly to having his vehicle taken away and is pursuing legal action to the car back. What can be done to discourage his continuing to drive? Thanks, for any helpful advise.
I doubt if he knows how to "take legal action", and as a former legal person I'm not sure what he could really do.
If he wants to file suit, he'll have to either stumble through it himself (and it's not easy to navigate the legal system and figure out the court rules), paying high costs just to initiate suit and then for service. I can't imagine anyone but a down and out attorney taking a case like that, and even then, more than likely a several hundred dollar retainer would be required.
For him to threaten suggests to me he feels he's got his back against the wall, is "outgunned", is losing a precious freedom, and needs to be defensive. Try to find ways to defuse his anger/fear, and help guide him through the transition to allowing others to drive for him.
So, think of the Indiana Jones principle of replacement before removal. Start taking him here he needs to go on the pretense that you want to spend more time with him. Take him through areas where he can let his mind wander and see the scenery, and relax.
Take him to his doctor appointments, then a relaxation event afterward, perhaps his favorite restaurant, a walk in the woods or park, whatever he likes to do.
Make the transition as seamless as possible by substituting attention and more bonding time.
Of course your FIL reacted strongly. All elderly people do. Not that it matters anymore but I wonder how his family broached this with him. Did they just declare that FIL couldn't drive anymore and take away the car or was it a discussion that took place over time with compassion and respect?
The approach a family takes with this issue is very important. Your FIL's seemingly knee-jerk reaction to not being able to drive and trying to find a legal way around it sounds like he's running on anger and desperation and pursuing legal recourse is fueling his fire, helping your FIL feel as if he's still in control of his own life and that's what driving privileges are about. Being in control of one's own life. Your FIL is trying to regain some control that was taken away from him.
What are you going to do if some lawyer requests that FIL take a driving test---and he passes?