but I know that is only if the parent can't afford to pay them. Not sure how they decide if the parent can afford it, but I think my mother could. She has dementia and I have been living with her and taking care of her for a few years. She has gotten a bit worse and I have had to cut back my hours. At first, I wasn't expecting to get paid because I don't pay rent. Her house is paid off. We kind of had an unwritten agreement - I stay and take care of things and I don't pay any rent. However, now that I've had to cut my hours back, I'm finding it harder to pay my other bills. I can no longer even save any money. I'm not married so all I have is myself to save for my own retirement. BTW,I'm 50 and haven't even started yet.
Anyway, if she can afford to pay me how do I get this set up? It's kind of awkward because she doesn't really realize just how bad she has become. She just thinks I'm there to both help her a little and so I can not pay rent. She doesn't remember of course that, for example, earlier today she left the stove on with a towel very close to the flames. Nor does she remember leaving the water running. She probably would think it was odd that I wanted to be also be paid a little bit more than just free rent. Believe me, I'm grateful for the free rent, but it doesn't really make up for the fact that I have had to drop back on hours. Any advice would be appreciated.
I do have POA - my other siblings live in other states and really aren't a problem because they just don't care enough to care what I do or don't do.
FreqFlier: I have certainly thought of having her pay a caregiver; however, she is a rather sour person and would surely drive away the poor person. She would insist she needed no such care.
I have thought of maybe instead of going through the hassle (and it would be with her) of having her even agree to pay me and then remember that she agreed and then have sign something stating she agreed, etc. (every step of the way I'd get pushback)... that I'd just have her pay some of my bills instead, paying for all the groceries, etc. But I think I could run into problems later if she ever had to apply for Medicaid. I have to do something, though, to keep from feeling resentment. She was never a wonderful mom to say the least but now with her dementia that will never be resolved.
The idea of finding a memory care home has crossed my mind as well, but she'd fight that tooth and nail as well.
Thanks again to all who answered. :)
Otherwise, if you rather Mom pay you, you would need to write up an employment agreement, salary, number of hours, what days you would have off, if Mom would pay for vacation and sick days, pay payroll taxes, etc.
Also check with your local Council on Aging to see what is available for Aides to come to the house for a couple of hours to help give you time for yourself. Caregiver burnout comes quickly, in a matter of months for some. Go to the blue bar near the top of this page, click on "Money & Legal", now click on "Paying for Care" for more information.
From what you said about Mom, with her having dementia, it is only going to get worse, much worse. Wouldn't it be better for her to go into a continuing care facility now while she is still able to make new friends, know the staff, and know her way around the facility? I realize she would probably have to sell the house or rent it out to help pay for the facility. You could have a couple of paid roommates to help with the cost. If Mom goes on Medicaid, Medicaid will put a lien on the house as payment for her care.