My mom and cousin hired this company three years ago. My mom has dementia and was not speaking to me at the time. I live 1800 miles away. Fast forward to November of 2019. She calls me and begs for my help. Her short term memory is gone and I could hear the fear in her voice. I told her I would help her. The first thing I did was fire that company. They knew how bad my mom was and they had my POA for financial and medical on file yet they would not communicate with me. I got no updates, schedules or invoices. The director was rude, condescending, and unprofessional from the get go. My mom kept complaining about items missing and caregivers not showing up or showing up and doing nothing. I was not allowed to talk to a caregiver at anytime unless I called her when she was with my mom. In November my cousin emailed me a years worth of schedules and invoices. Wow. What a wake up call. So many discrepancies, schedule changes, charges on my moms debit card that were fraudulent. I could go on and on. Many concerns are under investigation. It has taken me a month to figure it all out. They sent me an invoice for $650. After all my mom has been through with this company and all the BS I have had to deal with trying to manage her care, I have written a letter with dates, charges, discrepancies, schedule changes, etc. they will not answer my questions. They are sending my mom nasty letters to pay up knowing full well I pay her bills. She doesn’t have enough cognitive ability. She has been ripped off for far more than her final bill. I have written a letter laying out all the fraud, scheduling issues, etc. I am deciding whether to tell them I am not going to pay them for the reasons I just stated. My mom and I have excellent credit and I have never defaulted on any bill or loan. I don’t think they deserve anymore money from my mom. If they’d send it to collections, so be it. Has anyone ever been in this situation. What did you do?
Call the Ombudsman's office in your area and ask them about the discrepancies you have found. Call the police and do a report about all of the missing money/property that was not reported via banking issues. The suggestion below about the bonding/insurance company is a good one, too. I'm sure you'll have to ask the company who bonds their employees. You might have to do that in a letter w/copy of your POA attached and note in the letter it is being copied to your attorney....or....ask an attorney to get the process going for you. Once they get a letter like that, they may be done with your mom, too, in regard to billing.
The bank and police department are working on the fraud cases. I wrote the healthcare company last year about many scheduling and financial discrepancies. No response. Out of the blue I was copied on an email to my cousin from the HC Director. She said I needed to step in and deal with my mom because they couldn’t deal with her and her accusations. For 10 months I begged them to communicate with me! I did not reply. I talked to my mom and fired the company. Things are much better for my mom for now.
After my original post, I wrote a letter with a check for the final bill. I deducted amount that is being investigated which was 2/3 of final bill. I laid out the issues. I don’t think I’ll hear anymore from them.
I know eventually my mom will need more care. Her case manager is looking into hospice care for her if she qualifies. She is part of a Neighborhood Program so she doesn’t have to travel to office visits. She has an NP and case manager that visit regularly. I handle ALL aspects of her care and financials. With all of that in place, I’m in a much better place than last year at this time.
Law enforcement and social services should b involved in this.
Good luck
Ggood luck.
1. Calling an elder law attorney
2. Concerned since you were not the one who hired them if you can be the one to fire them
3. Giving a heads up to the local police to let them and maybe the fire dept know your mom has issues
4. Talking to the long term care ombudsmans office for help or advice
5. Not paying the bill until the discrepancies are resolved to your satisfaction and
6 Telling them you are taking the matter to small claims court and will be coming from out of town to do so.
Also contact the local office on aging, area agency on aging and/or adult protective in re to the exploitation risk factor (they may turn it down but you never know). Having a local contact when you are far away may help.
Would mom consider since you seem to have made amends moving closer to where you are?
First, I would itemize all missing items and put in a police report. You cannot prove anything was stolen, but make the report anyway. Next, use security cameras to check on your loved one at all times. Make sure you do this to prevent theft and neglect. You must let the company know you will have security cameras, as it is an option to caregiver to work under video camera. But it is necessary to supervise home and staff. There are many discrepancies with time keeping that company will try to hide. I suggest using an old fashion time clock in the home. If they don't punch the clock, they don't get paid. No exceptions. Make sure you know the names and addresses and phone numbers of all employees, and that you have FBI Criminal Checks and Child Abuse Checks. Check registry for CNA to be in good standing with state license.
The agency will lie to cover their tracks. I reported my incidents to Supports Coordinator and called the State Department for Aging Care. The would have sent protective services but we held off due to my moms anxiety and heart condition.
Make sure you Yelp publicly about agency so others do not get in same situation with bad company.
Keep your loved ones close to you. Only family intervention makes a difference in dementia care. Most aids are using cell phones, watching television, and do not follow directions for therapeutic rehab. If you can get physical therapy or recreational therapy for dementia patient, it will help improve with right caregiver to handle anxiety for transitions.
We are all going thru this, and if its not addressed legally, we will continue this trend of poor caregiving in homes with boomers.
You have bigger problems at home going forward...
My question is what are you going to do going forward with your mom? It sounds like she needs you for more than just a bill but your 1800 miles away????
Time for you to take a trip and maybe help her sell her house?...move her to your town? etc etc...time for that dreaded, but necessary, 'family meeting discussion'
Denentia doesnt get better over time, just worse....im sorry
ps. If you feel she can stay a little longer i would consider in home security cameras where you can monitor her occsionally from 1800 miles away....you have heard of Nest camera where you can put like one on the living room table maybe another one by teh front door.
They take elder crimes seriously.
Follow through and good luck.
I would be calling the Better Business Bureau, Department of Health, Aging Protective Services and I would be calling the police. What has happened to your mom and your family is a disgrace to the field.
I am so sorry this happened to you. I have never incorporated the services of a professional agency to help care for my mom, who has dementia. Thank you for sharing how even those agencies are capable of criminal activity.
I have gone through literal hell with the caregivers I have hired but have finally been rewarded with a lady who is trustworthy and caring. After she leaves I will be resigning from my employment. I will keep my professional license active so that I can reenter the workforce whwn that time comes.
Again, I am so sorry this has happened and I hope you channel your anger toward focused determination to expose this fraudulent agency.
Twenty years ago I began discussing long term care, finances, and a will or trust with my mom. She wouldn’t hear of it. She was independent and said she could take care of herself. She said she had lots of friends and she didn’t need her only child stepping in and running her life. We all know that was not what I was going to do. Soooooo here we are, she has a few friends (in nursing homes) and I had to spend months sorting through all of this. My mom has not been kind to me most of my life. She’s been controlling and hateful and missed out on so much in our lives. Her only grandson barely knows her. With all of that, I can’t abandon her now. I will help her as much as possible but when the time comes, I’ll need to make difficult decisions and she will hate me once again. I can’t do anything about that. She made choices in her life and now she’s living with the consequences of those choices.
It can get complicated so let the law sort it out. Provide all the documentation you can.
I was 1700 miles away but I made a timely visit. That set the ball in motion. There were already complaints with the company so it was not too hard to have the DA take notice.
Now they damage the situation...they need to repay.
When you get all the facts call to the department of aging in your mom's community and de department of disable,the department of Alzheimer's and ask to get advice in how to make the agency repay all that was taken.IF YOU see with your own eyes they owe you...BELIVE me if you can get all back. Thru court all is going to return.
Never again let mom handle money...all has to go thru you.
Please call definitely someone is going to advice.Good luck.
Although my mother was very intelligent and therefore able to mask her early dementia (she even had her primary care doctor convinced she was perfectly competent, and didn't need dementia screening) she was easily manipulated by whomever she was with at the time. I made the 400 mi. trip, took her back to the attorney, had new POA documents drawn up, and to the bank to have my authority reinstated. Then fate intervened in my favor. Within 24 hrs of my departure, my mom fell in the bathroom and became trapped between the toilet and tub. She was found lying there with a dislocated shoulder and transported to the hospital, where they definitively diagnosed her dementia and refused to let her return to her apartment. A few days later I made another trip to arrange to have her placed in assisted living. She literally threw a temper tantrum in the hospital--which didn't help her case--and with the help of social services her refusals were overruled.
My suggestions are:
1) Report what evidence of theft that you have to the police. In my case, I didn't have much proof. Only after I took over all her accounts and audited them did the patterns of withdrawals and inappropriate "gift" checks, signed by her, become clear. But since she wasn't yet officially legally incompetent at the time, and she was no longer a reliable witness now that she was, there wasn't much chance of a criminal prosecution.
2) Seek the advice of a family law attorney in your mother's state of residence to see what your options are. You need to find out what you can do to get your mom into assisted living near you ASAP, as her mental status will only get worse, and your distance from her is problematic. You may have to go through a two-step process like I did; initial assisted living in her present home town, and then a well-timed move to a second facility near where you live.
3) Do not worry about your mother's credit rating. However, do worry that your mother will respond to the billing notices inappropriately and pay the money herself, perhaps several times over. My mom was doing that during the last few months she was living alone.
BTW: ever notice they tend to have Biblical-esque or saintly names, with "angel" or "shepherd" or "savior" in them? I think I'd prefer "Nancy's In-home care" because then you know who you are dealing with -- Nancy. I digress.
I had in-home care (with a shepherd in the title) for my mother and I thought the experience was very frustrating. I think they played both sides -- they had my mother's trust, but I live 75 miles away, and they never gave me the details of my mother's declining situation. At the time, my mother's dementia had spiraled downward; she saw me as the enemy and wouldn't let me in the house. Naively, I thought my mother would "get better" and the care company said "they'd work with her" (like a preschooler being taught to read). They did assist with getting my mother diagnosed -- it came back severe dementia. Even then, the company said they thought the diagnosis was wrong and I should seek a second opinion. How frustrating for me (and expensive!) The two care providers who went to the doctor's appointment told me that "she answered every question". When I talked directly to the doctor who administered the test, and read the report, it was very clear. Either the two care providers also couldn't answer questions correctly, or they were trying to protect their jobs. The report said my mother needed 24/7 care. My mother went to a care-facility within a week after the diagnosis. The whole experience could have been easier had the in-home company gave me detailed information each day.
Thanks for asking the question so I could (obviously) vent! You have done the right thing in removing them from caring for your mother.
I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. Best wishes to you and your mom.
My father had caregivers coming in three hours a day twice a week so he could step out for a bit (this was after an injury from a fall several years ago). He came home early once to find mom soaking in the tub and the caregiver rummaging in her jewelry box. Mom verified later that $300 was missing as well as a piece of jewelry over one hundred years old that had been passed down from her grandmother. My father ordered the woman out of the house and informed the agency he would not need their services any more. I asked him if he filed a police report for theft. Nope. I asked if he filed a complaint with the agency about the caregiver. Nope. He didn't even tell me until several years later. I don't understand the reluctance to file complaints or involve police.
I would think that the agency would have to address your findings within 30 days. Meaning, with detailed paperwork. Showing the billing, then the check offsetting. I would suggest getting a lawyer involved. Even if legal aid. Call Office of Aging for legal aid info.
I know you want to keep Mom in her home but there will come a time when that is not possible. She will need 24/7 care. Its will be what she needs not what she wants.