Regarding the five year look back when a patient has to go on Medicaid, what happens when the person has gifted money to someone and that person has blown through it and has no cash and no assets themselves? If the person cannot afford care, what happens? I am asking because my mother keeps wanting to give money to two of my destitute brothers. I know that if she runs out of money and needs to go into a nursing hoe, they would not be able to pay the money back to Medicaid. Does Medicaid just leave the person at the curb?
Of course, as mad as I am that she is willing to be a financial burden to me just to support do nothing brothers, DH is beyond P.O.'d about this situation and vows that if she gives the boys any money, he is putting her out and she can live with them. It's not fair that we sacrifice to stay within our means and thereby keep a roof over her head and she is willing to toss her money away. But, it is worse to think that she will end up alone, on park bench with her suitcase because she gave money to those who never worked for it and have never appreciated it.
But, that is another story for another day. Thanks for the Medicaid info.
Mom2Mom, what is going to happen is that your mother will become your problem, and if she runs out of money, she will be living with you, thanks to your deadbeat brothers.
NH will probably discharge her and contact the state. NH is not going to provide service for free.
I'm only familiar with my sister's inlaws - they had to take the mom due to her gifting 2 dead beat brothers - but she did have family to take her in. what if they don't?
You might consider getting her to a geriatric psychiatrist. It sounds like she's getting agitated, possibly? There are meds that help with that, and NO, they don't turn people into Zombies! Before she had a stroke, my mom's biggest impairment, the one that made placement in an Independent Living facility imperative, was anxiety and agitation--the endless "what if" that caused every little thing to turn into an emergency. She had been taking an anti anxiety med prescribed by her Internist, but only when she perceived that she was anxious (which is too late). The Geri Psych changed up the meds, got her on a scheduled low dose, which helped her tremendously. she also strongly suggested a cognitive evaluation, which revealed Mild Cognitive Impairment (which was what was driving the anxiety). If nothing else, it demonstrated to my brothers that there WAS something wrong, and that mom's anxieties weren't some mom was "doing to herself" (quote from one of my brothers).
Trying to convince your mother of something is probably useless at this point. you're only going to get her more insistent. You try putting her off by saying "oh, yes, I'll do that tomorrow".
So far, i have just refused to write them checks and have tried to reason with her but she is becoming increasingly obsessed with helping them and, subsequently more demanding.
If she doesn't understand this, it may be time to get control of her checkbook.
This is so very hard, i know. But you need to protect your mom AND your own sanity and finances.
I can certainly understand your mother wanting to help her sons. I'd probably feel that way, too. It is almost instinctive. But she isn't going to have money to give them indefinitely; they are going to have to fend for themselves eventually, it might as well be now. Otherwise she might be the one needing the homeless shelter!
The other brother has been in and out of homeless shelters due to poor life choices and past drug addiction. Ironically, if he went back on drugs, he would have a better chance of collecting disability.
Anyway, back to your answer... So, she has given X number of dollars away in the past five years. On Jan 1 she goes into a nursing home. On June 1, she runs out of money. Are you saying Medicaid would exclude the next x number of days care in the nursing home based on how much she gave away and then put her back on the government dime?
So, then, what does the NH do? leave her on a bench in the park until Medicaid kicks in?
Perhaps your brothers should seek aid on their own behalf, depending on what is keeping them destitute. Accepting money that Mom is going to need for her own care is not the best option.