I tried to post this from my phone, then it shut down, so please forgive repeat if it did post. Mom is 90, lives in Florida- no dementia, no Alz. Has been a raging nasty narcissist all her life. 4 Bedroom pool home, loaded with 40 years of stuffing it full. Nocturnal, incontinent, obese, wheel chair or walker required- mean mouth, vile attitude, expert at manipulation and will twist anything to anyone at any time. No friends. Now that you got this part....here we go. She up and sold the house she lives in. Signed all papers w/o my knowledge. (only child- 1500 miles away) BY OWNER! Florida uses title companies, thank God. All she can see is $$$$$$$$$$! She has no money except for SS. which totals $1400 per mo. No savings-I have no HCP, POA- there is no will or Living will. She has a passing date of June 25th, 2018- she must vacate by 6-28-2018. Contractor coming for new owner on 7-2-2018, Stock starting to be delivered on 6-29-18. She will not pack, she has no place to go to. She will not hire anyone, she will not look for place to live. She has no $$ to do this either. We are talking my pocket! She is banking on her skills to manipulate and using age and figuring on twisting the new owners into doing everything on her time frame. She says nasty things like- "This is MY house til I am out this door". " I get what I want, you'll see-". I leave here on MY TERMS! I've warned her, there will be legal problems- she says she's 90 and no ones throwing her out. AND if there is a law suit, then it's MY PROBLEM! I've told her I can come down there and we are moving you out and finding a place for you there. She refuses. She said she will not let me in the door and will call the police if I try anything. With no PCP or POA I'm screwed! She sucked the new owners in but good. She comes across as the sweetest poor sick little ole lady, whose rotten daughter abandoned her. She told them my husband is a drunk- she told them my son is "nothing like them" ( he won't take her calls) and lets not get started on what she says about my daughter- too vulgar to type. The buyers told me the woman they met is not the woman they are now dealing with! They are stunned, scared and just horrified of what they have gotten themself into. Their son is autistic and the wife is a breast cancer patient, Thank God, doing well and almost done with it. They have no place to go soon either! They are legit, good honest people. I can not tell you the LIST of things she had them do for her already. She is playing with these people! She knows what she is going, she even says so out loud! They have finally figured it out and are sick to their stomachs as well and have turned to me for help. She got all of us but good this time- I could type until the world ran out of time telling stories of the crap this woman has rained down upon this earth and anyone who direction she looks in. Everyone is a moving target. Please anyone out there....help, suggest, anything you got. I have no legal standing, I am sick to my stomach ( nothing stays in or down) Im up and down all night- my brain is bouncing. She has pulled her best stunt ever-this woman is 90! If I say to her where are you going to live, I get nasty answers- shut up, what do you care. She will not look for housing, she will not pack. She will not allow me to get movers, she will not allow me to get housing. She is however, trying to force me into taking her to Mass. and live with me. She told me to close my business- she expect my full time and attention. This will not happen, but how do I get her out of that house! Where do I put her when I do? You have no idea what a maniac she is and the ends she will go to- the nightmares she has caused, and these arent cheap either! Just to let you know one...she had a roof put on her house. NO WARNING she was doing this.... The guy trusted the sweet lil ole lady, the day they came to do the roof- she said I was out of town over night and forgot to leave the check for deposit. He did the roof, my phone rang and I went 10K in debt on cr card. THE CONTRACT WAS IN MY NAME. She used my name!!! I could have left this guy in a lerch, but I wont do that. He did a good job, inspectors passed it, place was left immaculate and he was well known and does excellent work w/o complaints. Im still paying at 27%! So ya, this is her grand finally- please help.
If there is a law suit, it is NOT your PROBLEM--it is YOUR MOM's problem!
Thank GOD that "They have finally figured it out and are sick to their stomachs as well and have turned to me for help." What kind of help do the new buyers expect from you? What kind of help do you think that you can offer since your Mom is so aggressively hostile towards you? OH, The poor people :( How sad that your Mom got them involved in HER DRAMA.
Your MOM CANNOT FORCE YOU TO DO ANYTHING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO! YOU are the one who will make the decision whether you want to move her to Mass. and have her live with you. YOU ARE AN ADULT!! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO WHAT YOUR MOTHER TELLS YOU TO DO.
{Now your Mother is making ME angry!! --I am angry and afraid that you will "cave in" to your Mom's demands and then regret it the rest of your life.
Since your Mom has a tendency to put YOUR NAME on things like having a new roof put on and other expenses, I think that you need to talk to a lawyer about how to protect yourself from further financial abuse. Unfortunately, you may have to sever ALL TIES with your Mom and let her look after herself in order to protect your own financial assets.
PLEASE DO NOT pay for anything that your Mom puts in your name that you do not know about. I know that you feel sorry for the person that needs to get paid, but you are ENABLING your Mom--just like people who ENABLE alcoholics. Instead of getting a beer for the alcoholic who loves to drink, you are getting CASH for the "Spendthrift" who enjoys throwing away money.
Go down and visit your Mom, BUT DO NOT get super involved in the housing problem. Maybe contact the local HOADERS Group since your Mom's house is "loaded with 40 years of stuffing". Your Mom needs a PSYCHIATRIC INTERVENTION and that is something that you can not do on your own.
QUIT trying to fix your Mom's problems. Why try to help her find a place to live if "She said she will not let me in the door and will call the police if I try anything." LET HER CALL THE POLICE! Maybe they will call Adult Protective Services or some other agency to help her. BUT YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE THAT HELP. You are her daughter and you should act only as a daughter and not as the only rescuer. It is going to take a village to rescue your Mom and you need to let the village help.
May God give your HIS strength and HIS wisdom as you walk though these days of trouble. Let HIM lead you in all decisions so that whatever you decide will be for the best for your Mom and for yourself. GOD BLESS!
What ur Mom has done is passive agressive behavior. She goes ahead and does what she wants, and then expects you to fix it. I would think the couple could get out of the contract under the circumstances. They really need to find out their options in the state of Fla. Maybe Mom will have to literally be taken from the premises and put in NH. Let the state of Fla be her guardian. Or, the couple will not buy the house. Hopefully all the local realtors will blacklist Mom.
I know it sounds cruel, but Mom made this problem not you. She needs to know consequences for her action even at 90.
You have no POA and are not guardian.
Your mom is technically compentent.
She's made her own bed. Let her sleep in it.
She calls for help? Tell her that she needs to call the State Eldercare hotline.
This is SO NOT your issue.
Walk away
(See: https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mom-moving-i-need-ideas-438611.htm)
Second, the story about the roofer doesn't make sense to me. Why in the world would you have added her name or given her access to your credit card?
If she really did forge your name to a contract, you're not obligated to pay the debt. You can't complain about her behavior when you're enabling her, and paying for a roof under an alleged forged contract is certainly not standing your ground.
And you're paying off the debt at 27%? What kind of card do you have that charges that kind of interest rate? Do you have bad credit?
I still would be curious what advice you took from the several people who responded to your earlier post announcing your mother had sold the house and was moving, and why, given your description of her behavior, you even feel any obligation to BE involved.
See All Answers